Center of the Universe
by LeoOsaka Bakura's stalker
Summary: A series of Bakura based drabbles and one shots, mostly humor but there are some serious ones. Many MANY pairings. More than I have room to list. Hope you enjoy my twisted humor!
1. You Can't Do That

_Leo: Well, I was looking through the fanfiction list for Yugioh and FMA today and something occurred to me...There must be over a hundred something, (could be dramatizing?), drabble fics for FMA. IN all the years, (Many, let's just put it that way) That I've been reading Yugioh fics, I've never seen a complete drabble based multichapter fic. Soooo...I've come to a conclusion...I MUST write one! XD_

_This is completely centered on Bakura and any and every YAOI pairings he can possibly go in...And If I had my way, He'd be the emperor of the world. No I don't care that he's a fictitious character. He'd rule the world. SO I've decided to appropriately name this collection of drabbles, Center of the Universe._

_Okay! I shut up now and move on!_

**You can't do that**

"Bakura, why MUST you challenge me all the time?" Yami asked as he brought Bakura's life points down to his last 200.

"Because one of these day I WILL win! I'm telling you right now I will!"

"That would only make you one to...how many wins to I have?"

"You know what shut the hell up! I'll take one win, because unlike you I'll shove that ONE win all up in your face! Then make you EAT your cards!"

"You're so tactless..."

"I'M tactless? You're the who antagonized Kaiba all the time! Relentlessly! You're to him, like I am to you! So you have no place calling ME tactless! You know, one day Kaiba will get sick of playing cards and he's just going to plain out shoot you. So much for you LIFE points then!"

"You talk too much you know that?" Yami said placing a card down and signaling to Bakura it was his turn.

"You know you're hair has strikingly similar features to a five fingered hand?" Bakura sneered picking up a card, and placing it on the field.

"Shut up you albino street rat." Yami placed a trap card down and passed off the turn to Bakura.

"I'll attack you with this card...AND OH HELL NO YOU DID NOT JUST CALL ME THAT? It's your damn father's fault I'm like this! You damn royal bastards and all your riches. I wish you could see what it's like to live on the streets! Then maybe you wouldn't treat us with less repect than you treat your Nubian throw rugs!"

"Bakura, I activate Magical Cylinder." Yami rolled his eyes, preparing to gather up yet another victory.

"You can't do that!"

"Yes I can it's a trap card!"

"I don't give a shit. Put that blasted card back the way it was until I'm done with my damn ranting you stupid pharaoh! Now, where was I? Oh yes! You stupid bastards are the fault of everything! You, pharaoh, are the reason the world is so horrible! I don't care if it really isn't! To me you are the soul destruction of all morality in this world! I BLAME EVERYTHING ON YOU!"

"Are you done Bakura?"

"Yes, you may play your card now..."

"You lose 2200 points, and that means you lose. Like you always do."

"You know what pharaoh?"

"What Bakura?" Yami rolled his eyes knowing where this was going.

"I hate you!" He stood up pointing at Yami accusingly. He attempted to leave in a angry and stomping manner, but he didn't make it past the foot rest as he toppled over it.

"It must be nice to have such long legs isn't it Bakura?" Yami said idly shuffling his cards.

"Go to hell Pharaoh...Just...GO.TO.HELL." He said while half sprawled across the floor.

xxx

_Leo: OKay that one had no real pairing. But It's a start. If there's a Bakura pairing you want to see and haven't then tell meh! I'll write it! Of course I do have limitations...I DON'T do non yaoi...I just don't..._


	2. Center of the Universe

_Leo: O.o don't ask me why it is that the SECOND drabble is named after the title of the fic...I don't know... Thank you for all of your suggestions! Though I have to go through the ones I've already prewritten first, I will do each of them! Except for your suggestion, Cloaked Fox. To start off, I'm nota fangirl, I'm not even a girl, if you care to know. And I have enough storiesthat DO have a 'real in characterplot' and I'll have you know I DO put effort into EVERYTHING I do. Some times it's nice to please readers with somethingshort, funny, and with pairings they like. Just ask the readers of "Yay for fire" They'd tell you. I'm done with my ranting ENJOY XD!_

**Center of the Universe**

"Bakura, what are you doing?" Marik asked rolling over and looking at Bakura, who was sitting at the base of the bed he was lounged on.

"Fixing my deck so that I can DESTROY all who oppose me." He answered simply, while admiring his Dark Necrofear.

"Don't you do that already?"

"Nine times out of ten yes."

"So you want it all then huh? Why can't you just send them to the shadow realm?"

"Because the pharaoh automatically knows I did it! I swear I think he's stalking me. I mean how the hell would he know that I sent a can opener to the shadow realm at two o'clock in the morning? Then he'd go and send me to the shadow realm, not that I haven't gotten used to it. I even get a welcoming home party from my duel monsters..."

"Kura, why on earth were you using a can opener at two o'clock in the morning?"

"I wanted some damn spaghetti-o's! But that's not the point, I HAVE to defeat every fool who dares challenge me!"

"I'm waiting for the evil cackle..."

"I was getting there!" Bakura said poking Marik right between the eyes.

"I don't see what the point is, just carry a knife with you and cut their insides out if you lose..."

"But I AM the Center of the Universe! I cannot afford to LOSE!"

"Center of the Universe huh?"

"That's right!"

"Since when?"

"SINCE NOW!"

Marik sat up and slid off the bed, lazily shuffling past Bakura.

"Hey where're you going?"

"I'm going to go get my ceremonial robes since now I know who I'm supposed to be praying to..." Marik snickered turning to walk out of the room. He looked back to see Bakura huffing at him.

"Shut the hell up you mean jerk!"

xxx

_Leo: As far as I'm aware Bakura IS the center of the universe...I mean I could be wrong..O.o But not likely XD_


	3. You Were Saying?

_Leo: Okay there might be a little slight hint very slight hint for BakuraXMalik...If you squint your eyes and look at it upside down with the lights off, it just might be there XD_

**You were saying?**

"You know Malik, I think your yami is crazier than I am..." Bakura said leaning back into the cusions of the chair.

"That's a bold statment to make Kura." Malik smiled nervously as he brought the thief a nice hot cup of coffee."

"I'm serious, Marik told me yesterday that he'd wanted chicken earlier that morning, then he proceded to tell me that he stole the neighbor's pet chicken and tried to eat it...I guess he didn't realize it needed to be dead first..SO what did he do? He told me he walked up to the owner of said chicken, returned it and apologized for trying to eat it"  
"Heh, that sounds like Marik...But still you've done some crazy things before like-"

"Walking into Wal-Mart naked doesn't count because you did it too!"

"Okay I'll give you that, but how about that time you picked a fight with the TV because Oprah said something you didn't like?"

"That's not a fair one either! I didn't KNOW that there aren't actually little people inside of that infernal box!"

"Or how about that time that you kidnapped that Miho girl that always hangs around Ryou and tried to Mail her to Alaska?"

"I was justified in that!"

"And how is that?"

"I don't know I just was!"

"Or how about the time you ate five pounds of plaster of paris to see if it would make a mold of your stomach."

"I was curious!"

"How about the time you tried to eat a soda can because it said 'Crisp refreshing taste?'"

"OKAY yes so I AM crazy but I'm not NEARLY as crazy as Marik!" Bakura dramatized throwing a hand into the air...The one with the coffee mug in it. "SCRAAAWWWWW! OH MY RA THAT'S HOT!" He stood up and darted out the front door, throwing himself at the mound of snow that formed in the front yard of the Ishtar house over night. He spent several minutes rolling around in it until he had managed to bury himself two feet under it.

Malik leaned out the door and smirked. "You were saying?"

xxx

_Leo: The idea of Bakura rolling around in snow like that just makes me giggle XD...God I'm such a girl XP_


	4. That's NOT right!

_Leo: I'm almost finished with the prewritten ones, then I get into the pairings XD Then the perverted-ness oin Leo's mind comes out O.o_

**That's Just Wrong!**

"Ryou."

"Yes?"

"Why do all of your friends think I relentlessly beat, rape and torture you to no end?"

"Um..because they're stupid?" Ryou answered rinsing off one of the soap covered plates as he finished washing the dishes.

"Well I know that, but what would give them the idea? Are you getting attacked and not telling me? Do you want me to beat someone up for you? Should I attach myself to you with super glue in order to protect you from furthur attack. Or are you getting into that kinky S and M shit? If so do I need to take you to a counselor? Should I monitor you on a daily basis and check you for new wounds EVERY day? Should I ask you where you're going and join you! Should I stop asking annoying questions like. RIGHT. NOW?"

"That last one! So totally yes on that last one..."

"But seriously Ryou! Why, the pharaoh nearly decked me yesterday for walking next to you! You saw!"

"I think he was just stretching yami..." Ryou smiled slightly as he let his yami throw everything out of proportion like he normally does.

"NO that was so TOTALLY a punch! I saw that look in his eyes! He thinks something bad's going down!" Bakura pointed up, then realized he needed to be pointing in the opposite direction.

"Yami...I haven't said ANYTHING to them about anything reguarding you..."

"Well why do they think I'd hit you! I don't hit my hikari! That's just wrong! It's like a sin! It's the kind of sin that doesn't even require you to die before going straight to hell! Would I hit a hampster, yes, a rabit, okay, a cat, yeah why not, Jounouchi, sure, but NOT MY HIKARI! That's like plucking all the legs off a spider except just two then watching in walk in circles until it DIES! THAT'S JUST NOT RIGHT!"

"Bakura?"

"Yes?"

"Relax."

"Yes hikari..." Bakura stopped to take a quick breath. "Tell them I don't hit you! Even Marik thinks I do! Just because he hits his hikari he thinks I hit you!"

"I've already told them Bakura..." Ryou turned around and smiled. "Besides they were standing in the doorway behind you when you said all that."

"WHAT!" Bakura stood up and turned around. He saw Yami, Yugi, Jounouchi, Seto (Yes Seto) Malik and Marik standing there looking at him. He growled and stomped past them screaming at himself as he went up the stairs. "DAMMIT! NOW THEY THINK I HAVE A DAMN HEART! DAAAAAAMN IT! THAT'S NOT RIGHT!"

xxx

_Leo: Let's just say I'm tired of Bakura beats Ryou all the time XD And with the spider thing, yes I think it's wrong O.o I have a pet spider...And I would NEVER in a million years pluck Alfred's legs off...That's just mean..._


	5. One Word

_Leo: As you may have noticed so far Bakura hasn't talked to the same person twice..I want to get a little bit of everyone in this drabble fic XD Because there's so many people I like!_

**One Word**

"If you had one word to describe yourself with what would it be?"

"Bad ass."

"Bakura, that's two."

"Oh come on! Are you telling me I can't use that?"

"Yes."

"They were right Kaiba! You ARE mean!" Bakura huffed. "I don't know...Why would you ask me that anyways?"

"I don't know, sheer boredom?"

"Sheer? Only you would use a word like 'sheer', I mean what the hell? 'Sheer', that just SOUNDS weird."

"Bakura."

"Yes?"

"YOU are weird."

"And you're a jerk!"

"Why am I even talking to you? I'm not supposed to hang out with any of Yugi's friends..."

"I am NOT their friend! I'm the creepy stalker guy of the group that ends up killing each one slowly. One by one, until there's none left. And I terrorize them and they won't even know that I'M the one who killed off all their friends and then I'll take that damn pharaoh and beat his head in with that over sized paperweight hanging around his neck, then I'll take all of the millenium items and I'll rule the entire world!"

"Okay that's-"

"I'M NOT DONE! Then I shall take their mummified corpses and throw them to the dogs to eat, and I'll desecrate every tomb that was ever made and place hexes on every pharaoh that EVER ruled! I'll become every dead pharaoh's WORST nightmare! The world shall tremble in fear as I cast the rage of 99 slaughtered villagers on the world"  
"Bakura?"

"Yes I'm finished."

"I have a word for you that I think would describe you perfectly."

"And what's that?"

"Insane."

"Oh, you meant THAT kind of word...Tch, I could have told you that..."

xxx

_Leo: XD I love making Bakura go off in multiparagraph rants. It's just fun XDXD This is actually more fun to write than my other drabble fic, because Bakura is what I write best XD. And yes I love my spider X3 even if it makes me weird XDXD Alfred is spekial, with a K! that's right you heard meh! -giggles- XD_


	6. For People Like Marik

_Leo: I got this idea reading a soda bottle label XDXD Ever slight thiefshipping, squint your eyes a lot and you might get a whisp of it XD I thought I would go ahead and mention it in case It might confuse someone, I generally refur to Malikas hikari, and Marik as yami! Just so ya know :3 some people do it differentlyso I thought I'd tell yew!_

**For People Like Marik**

"I noticed something really funny."

"What's that?"

"They put some really funny lables on things." Bakura answered as he opened a Pepsi bottle.

"Like?"

"Well, for instance this soda bottle states on it, 'warning contents under pressure cap may blow off and cause eye or other serious injury...' Now can you imagine that? Losing an eye to a soda bottle?"

"That is kind of funny." Malik smiled as he leaned against the counter watching Bakura raide his refrigerator like normal.

"Or like this carton of milk...says right on it, 'contains dairy product.' What the hell is up with people stating the obvious?"

"Who knows."

"Or like the label on crayons 'non-toxic'! Yes they're non toxic, so now it's OKAY to eat crayons! Or lighter fluid, 'VERY flamable', well duh. Or even the can of peanuts that says on it 'may contain nuts'. I'm waiting for them to but a 'do not eat contents' on a box of tacks."

"You know, now that you've mentioned it, they'll probably do it." Malik chuckled leaning an arm out to play with a strand of the thief's hair.

"Yeah, I know, they can't help it if I'M so damn smart. Either that or a person will sue the tack making company...and win...Malik I have an idea, do you have a box of tacks?"

"NO!"

"I'm kidding, I'm not stupid. I mean seriously who would be dumb enough to NOT figure these things out!"

The two jumped when they heard a loud manly-ish shriek. Malik darted into Marik's bed room quickly as he realized the screeching was coming from his yami. Moments later Malik emerged with the "oh my god that did not just happen" look on his face.

"What wrong?" Bakura asked.

"Well, speaking of labels, apparently Marik didn't read the one that says, 'do not use iron on clothes being worn'..."

"Okay, I now see exactly WHY there are stupid labels...they're for people like Marik...Okay...I guess those companies are justified after all..."

xxx

_Leo: I crack up with some of the labels I see on things. I mean HELLO! A carton of Eggs saying 'may contain egg product'. What the heck? If people would stop_ _sueing for stupid reasons we wouldn't have to feel so stupid...XDXD_

_Oh and Angel and Ryan you two are so funneh XD Yesh I am gay XD Mah boyfriend luffs meh :3 and I practically own him XDXD _


	7. New carpet

_Leo: Yamishipping! MarikxBakuraxYami! Rated for massive sexual innuendos o.o! Right on! I thought I'd go ahead and post a second one today :3 In case I can't for a while._

**New Carpet**

"Mmmmnnnnnnf."

"What's wrong with you?" Yami asked looking at Bakura as he lolled his head back and forth.

"I don't know...I'm getting this crazy urge to roll all over the floor..."

"Really now?" Marik questioned walking in the door.

"Did you just get out of the shower? You know I've seen dogs do that. After they're given baths some of them will roll and over the floor and drag their faces across the carpet..."

"I'm not a dog you bastard!"

"That's true pharaoh, this is Bakura, not Jounouchi. Maybe it's the new carpet? I mean it looks all soft and ...rollable."

"'Rollable', Marik?"

"Yes pharaoh don't mock me or I'll have to do something drastic."

"Like stick your hand down his pants in a public place, like last time?" Bakura chuckled recollecting that moment.

"Yeah just like that time! Back to the point though! Is there the possiblility that you're just really hung over?"

"No! I got over that this morning..."

"Hmmm..." Marik sighed and set the bag he was holding on the table. "Fine, let's find out what's got you so entranced." He looked at Yami and grabbed him by the arm. "If I'm going to embarass the hell out of myself you're doing it too!" He pulled Yami's feet from under him with his foot. And let the shorter yami fall all over the floor.

"EEP!"

Marik laid down on the carpet next to the sprawled Yami. "Okay, it certainly is soft"...He said rolling over, right on top of Yami.

"EEK!"

"Oh...hello there." The yami smirked.

"Nice hand going down my pants Marik."

"Oh, sorry I can't seem to help my self..."

"Heh, you guys are SO gullible...You know, when I said roll all over the floor, I wasn't exactly talking about being alone and doing it..."

"Oh, heh, so it was a sexual innuendo from the very beginning...Now why didn't I catch that before?"

"Your sensor must be off today Marik!" Yami chuckled.

"Oh you hush you. So...Bakura, this mean we're breaking in the new carpet?"

"Oh you bet ya," He answered throwing himself at the two.

xxx

_Leo: One thing to learn from this, New carpets are good! XD I luff yew my reviewers! -huggles for you all!- _


	8. Animalistic

_Leo: I hath survived the hurricane! Merrah! So here I bring yet ANOTHER update for ye :3 This ish a Marik(the yami)xBakura! So enjoy X3!_

**Animalistic**

"I want to kill something."

"So what's new?" Marik smiled shaking his head slightly.

"No I mean, I want to KILL something, I want to, I don't know make it get all still like!"

"Oh stop it Bakura, you're turning me on."

"Just imagine it Marik! Me all hot and sweaty, shirt ripped off like a mad man, and covered in blood, some one elses blood mind you. And me licking the blood off the knife and-"

"BAKURA!"

"Okay fine you meanie...What if it was the pharaoh?"

"Okay, for one thing Bakura, I don't care if you kill some one, actually I'd help you, but you're hikari's all iffy with that kind of thing. And he's got you by your balls more than I do, so I don't think he'd let you. I mean hell, I'd LOVE to rip your shirt off and smear someone elses blood all over in an animalistic frenzy, or as if we were performing some kind of ritual that calls for me to tie you down and have my way with you. And I'd have NO problem with a little maso-sadism taking place, but your hikari might walk through that front door ANY minute now, and I know his wrath is actually very dangerous."

"Last time was only because you were painting horses on the walls...with your blood! Or so he said."

"Well STILL! I didn't think he'd smack me up side the head with a rolled up newpaper and rub my face in it!"

"Hikari did that? Hah! Go hikari! Why couldn't I have been there for that one?" Marik shot Bakura a look. "Oh, eep...I mean, bad hikari?"

"You think you're funny don't you?"

"Yes, and look Marik! This carpet hasn't been stained in like THREE WHOLE DAYS! Would you be able to live with yourself if it stayed that way?"

"Oh that's wicked Bakura, working on my conscience like that."

"That's right, I AM wicked! Don't you forget that! Now I know you want to throw me down. LIKE. RIGHT. NOW! And make passionate savage animal love to me!" Bakura stood up and pointed down dramatically. "Granted we wouldn't have the dead person, but I'm sure our blood is good enough."

"That's it, come here you!"

"EEP!" Bakura squeaked as Marik grabbed him and pulled him to the floor. Around the time they both managed to get their shirts off, was when the front door opened.

"YAMI!"

"Uh oh..." Marik mumbled.

"Don't you even THINK about getting up, Marik. Hikari I'd suggest you go to your room now, and it's only a little blood...besides...we have oxyclean and I'm sure Marik can convince/threaten Malik into helping in the clean up effort."

Ryou sighed and ran up to his room, mumbling something about commiting the two to an asylum.

xxx

_Leo: Well until next drabble :3 I huggles you my reviewers X3!_


	9. Oh Hell

_Leo: This is a BakuraxRyou pairing. Not a very lovey dovey one. But still..._

**Oh Hell**

"Yami what's wrong?"

"I got gipped into buying girl scout cookies!" Bakura groaned. "I tried one and...Oh...and I don't feel so good..."

"Why on earth did you buy girl scout cookies Kura?" Ryou said walking up next to Bakura and patted him on the back as he lead him to the couch.

"She was looking at me all...YOU-like! She had those same brown puppy eyes! I could not resist them! I felt like I was looking at YOU! And you know my chances of resisting your puppy eyes are about as likely as Seto getting the dead animal out of his ass!"

"Okay...what did you buy that made you so sick?"

"Girl Scout triple chocolate, chocolate chip, thin mint Jambouree."

"Oh my god Kura!"

"She conned me into it! I'm telling you! The Girl scouts around this neighborhood are demons!" Bakura whined as he sat down on the couch.

"How many did you eat Kura?"

"ONE!"

"One?"

"YES! But LOOK at the name! That's like FOUR counts of chocolate in itself! I should have known, but she said they WOULDN'T kill you, and that they DIDN'T taste like cement."

"Oh Kura...Lay down..." Ryou said softly and Bakura curled up on the couch resting his head in Ryou's lap.

Ryou leaned back and grabbed the phone off the base. He pressed the number and placed the phone against his ear.

"Ishtar rsidence." He heard on the other end of the line.

"It's me Malik."

"Oh hey Ryou!"

"Hey, about our double date tonight...Bakura's not feeling good...So I think we'll have to skip out..."

"Oh hell...He got attacked by the Girl Scout triple chocolate, chocolate chip, thin mint Jambouree, didn't he?"

"Yeah actually...One bite and he looks like he's about to die..." Ryou petted the thief's hair as he stifled a chuckle when Bakura let out a snort.

"Be lucky...Marik got conned into the same thing...Only he ate the whole box and I'm telling you...I've never seen someone slam their head in a door over cookies...He's like in a coma now..I was actually about to call you."

"God I hope Marik lives."

"Ah you know Marik...He wouldn't die If I TRIED to kill him. Anyways. I guess we'll have to re-schedule our plans...Oh, tell Bakura that the Pharaoh's a victim to the Girl Scout cookies too, that should make him feel better." '

"Okay, will do. Talk to you later!"

"Bye!"

"What was that all about?"

"We'll have to re-schedule, because Marik's in the same boat you are. Oh and Yami's been attacked by the Girl Scout triple chocolate, chocolate chip, thin mint Jambouree. If that makes you feel any better." Ryou replied setting the phone back on the base.

"Oh hell yes it does!" Bakura grinned throwing a fist into the air.

"So what have we learned today yami?"

"That girl scouts are evil, their cookies are deadly, and the pharaoh is just as stupid as the rest of us..."

"That wasn't what I was getting at...But okay, I suppose that will do..."

xxx

_Leo: OKay I got the name of these cookies from my boyfriend, who's actually bought these things...and they nearly made him want to die...so that's where this came from..._


	10. Far Away

_Leo: This is a BakuraxYami, with shameless Bakura flirting XD_

**Far Away**

"So...Exactly why'd they leave us here?" Jounouchi asked watching the others going to pick something up at the food court.

"Something about me stealing shit and Kaiba mumbled SOMETHING about you drooling all over everything but I'm not really sure what else he said...Why does he call you mutt? If you were really a dog, then you're the most ugly dog I've ever seen."

"HEY!"

"Oh quit your, appropriately titled, bitching. I didn't say YOU were, I said that if you WERE a dog...And actually they probably needed someone who was dense enough to agree to babysiting me..."

"I'm not dense!"

"Yes, and Yami's hair's NOT annoying..."

"Hey, that's NOT fair because I can't agree to that!"

"That was the point." Bakura smirked.

"Tch," Jou glanced over. "Do I need to worry about you doing something like sending me to the shadow realm or stabbing me or something?"

"Nah...You should be more worried about me kidnapping you, taking you to an abandoned building and having my way with you."

Jou scooted away slightly.

"I'm just kidding...Though now that I think about it..."

Jou scooted back a little more.

"Oh come on! Do you really think I would do that?"

"Yes..."

"You are SO not cute, I just hope you're aware of that..."

"Thief what did you do to Jou!" Yami barked.

"Oh nothing...I was just proposing the idea of me kidnapping him and having my way with him."

"Well quit being a pervert you, you creep!" Yami said ready to smack Bakura.

"What, jealous? Gah, that's right, you ARE the morbidly jealous type...so to make YOU feel better." Bakura sighed and stood up. He sauntered over to Yami grabbed him by the front of his shirt and laid a very passionate kiss on the pharaoh. "That make you feel better?" Bakura asked in a very husky and sexy tone as he pulled away.

"I hate you." Yami said with a neon red face.

"Yeah, you HATE me alright...And I suppose you HATING me is the reason I wake up with you sleeping next to me every morning?"

"Okay...I'm officially weirded out..." Jou mumbled.

"Get used to it mutt..." Bakura smacked Yami's ass playfully. "I tend to be QUITE the 'pervert' as Yami says." He cackled walking toward the other's, (despite the fact that they specifically told him to STAY), knowing that Yami was following behind him blushing furiously. Jou followed too...But he stay a away from them...FAR away...

xxx

_Leo: XD I don't know what I was thinking writing this...Oh well I think it came out alright XD I'm telling you I think my computer owns me.._


	11. You People

_Leo: Yes this is a, OMG this can't be happening, oh yes it is, Fractureshipping! (Thief Bakura x Yami Malik x Yami Bakura x Malik x Ryou) I thought, why not just throw them all together XD I've never seen this pairing done before...So why not XDXD OH and I use the name Akefia to represent Thief Bakura. My reason is at the bottom if you really want to know._

**You people**

"Well? Aren't you scum going to pass judgement on me! I am the great Bakura, the king of thieves!"

"Kura...what the hell are you doing?" Malik blinked as he watched Bakura posing all dramtically.

"I'm recaping my most memorable quotes so I don't forget them."

"What you've run out of new things to say?" Marik asked blinking as he curled next to Malik and Akefia.

"NO!"

"Besides, I said that, not you." Akefia yawned.

"But I AM you! So I said it too...and and...oh hell I'm confused now..."

"So what's new?" Ryou mumbled, laying his head in Malik's lap.

"Since when did you get SO MEAN hikari?"

"Since you people corrupted me!"

"YOU PEOPLE?" All four of the others said at once.

"That's right, though I blame Bakura for most of it, after all he's the only one who pushed teaching me how to pick locks, shoplift a family dollar store, mug a homeless guy AND put the bully down the street in a coma..."

"That's stuff you need to know hikari! That makes you the total '100 percent I will not lose a fight EVER bad ass of the universe'! That's bring you up to the awesomeness of me! And me covers Akefia too...and Marik can go into the awesomeness category too."

"Hey what about me?" Malik cried out indignantly.

"Well hikari Ishtar, you have yet to eat an entire steak raw!" Bakura pointed out and Akefia and Marik nodded.

"But Ryou hasn't either!" Malik then looked at Ryou who gave him the 'uh...actually...' look. "YOU MEAN YOU DID? OH MY GOD RYOU YOU'VE TURNED OVER TO THE DARKSIDE!" Malik said shaking Ryou, yet not in a violent way.

"Well, that WAS the initial point there Malik..." Akefia yawned.

"Oh...yeah..."

Everyone was silent for a moment.

"Hey you know..." Bakura spoke up breaking the deadly silence. "Since I'm the only one who can technically do it...who wants to watch me make out with myself?"

"Kura, are you stupid? I mean damn! Do you REALLY think ANY of us would say no?"

"And 'technically' Kura you're not the only one who can do it! I can do it too!"

"Well you ARE me!"

"And YOU are me!"

"Just shut the hell up and let me molest you!" Bakura growled crawling into Akefia's lap.

"You know, one day we are SOOO going to have to video tape this..." Marik said watching the two. "I mean my god this is like a soft porn in itself!"

"MARIK!"

"Well It is!"

"See, I told you...You people are the reason I've been corrupted."

"Hey hikari, wanna join us? You know you do! Just think you get double the Bakura sexiness!" Bakura looked back at Ryou.

"I'm there!"

"You know...Maybe this corruption thing aint so bad..." Malik smirked.

xxx

_Leo: Okay, if you don't like one or two or the pairings I post...then you have two choices a. you can skip it, or b. you can flame the hell out of me for not writing what you want...though chances are I will not listen. XD But seriously...If I write something you don't like I apologize...But this fic is aiming to give people a little more exposure to the underused pairings! Like I said if you don't like one of them skip it...I prefur you didn't yell at me because I already warned you._

**Also I use the name Akefia, because it's easy to decipher from Bakura. And Touzoukuou and Doroubou are TITLES, not names. The only thing they mean are "Thief king" and "king of thieves". That is probably THE biggest misconception as far as thief Bakura goes. AND I've seen that name used by quite a few people, so it's a commonly used translation for Bakura. I even have an RP group where I AM Akefia...Though Mariku likes to call me Kifa XP So it's not like it's something that I've seen only once...I've seen it here and there. That's why I use it...Though there's many more ways to spell it...Either way...I'm done XD**


	12. Come Back

_Leo: Okay I've gotten a request for a BakuxSeto and a BakuxJounouchi! So I'm starting with the BxS! This is more Angel and Ryan XD_

**Come Back**

"Uhh..."

"Good morning there, moneybags." Bakura said pulling his shirt on.

"Didn't we talk about you calling me that?" Seto mumbled as he shook his head trying to relieve the cramped feeling.

"Oh I'm sure we probably did, but some where along the lines of the hot tub, the back porch, the kitchen floor and the bed, I think we kinda dropped the subject."

"Oh...yeah...Good thing Mokuba is in Canada..."

"By the way, why is he in Canada?" Bakura glanced over atthe tired CEO, who was leaned against the headboard with one arm up leaned against the bed post.

"He wanted to see Meese..."

"You mean moose!"

"What the fuh! Why can't it be Meese?"

"Okay Okay! We'll compromise! Mooses!"

"Fine, Mooses it is!" He huffed as he glanced over at the thief who was pulling his over jacket on. "Where are you going?"

"Oh, you know, I know you have work to do, so I thought I'd go over to the phar-er Yami's and give him a nice little mind fuck to start his day."

"How thoughtful of you."

"You know I thought so too! Then I'm most likely going to go over to Marik's and help him light a toaster on fire...I don't know why but abusing toasters is quite fun. You should join us one day, you might enjoy yourself. I know GASP! SHOCK! OH THE EFFING HORROR! The idea of Mr. stick is usually up his ass, having F.U.N!"

"Thank you very much, I love you too..." Seto grumbled.

"Ah you know I do! I just LOVE to tease you! Besides I know you get enough insanity from me, you don't need Marik exposure. Only I am capable of being around him for long periods of time with out going into violent compulsions or getting radation poisoning."

"Radiation poisoning? ...I won't ask..."

"Probably safer if you didn't there, moneybags! Well I'll see you later!" Bakura grinned and, unlike normal people who give a nice little kiss goodbye, licked the side of Seto's face.

"GAH! Why must you do that Kura?"

"Because you like it!" He turned toward the door. "Bye." He grinned and waved.

"That was NOT the point! Hey WAIT! KURA! TAKE THE HANDCUFFS OFF FIRST! KUUURA! COME BAAAAAAACK!"

xxx

_Leo: XD I don't know why I made it like this...And the Moose thing was actually a conversation I had today with my friend Marco and Donald. And I thought, hey that'd be funny to add!_


	13. Ra Forsake

_Leo: My initial plan was for the next one to be a Bakura/Jou one, but this idea hit me between the eyes like a 2 by 4 and I HAD to write it! There's Phychoshipping in here X3 because we all love psychoshipping! XD BY the way, I can be quite the pervert so please don't be surprised by some of the crap I write :3_

**Ra Forsake**

Marik walked into the Ishtar house. His hikari was out with the Pharaoh's dork friends, so it would be just him and Bakura in the house. As he walked in the door and closed it the rational thought that leaving Bakura in the house alone was a bad idea.

He could hear shouts coming from the kitchen. At first he thought Bakura was toturing something, but after a moment of listening he had to clamp his hand over his mouth to keep from laughing out loud.

"You inferal patronizing thing! You torture me in your NON toast making abilities! You're supposedly made to MAKE toast but you don't! You sad excuse for a mortal modern metal contraption! You inexcuseable piece of camel shit! You put 21st century appliances to shame with your defiance! And over what? Ra forsaken toast? You're evil and I WILL STOP YOU!"

Marik peeked his head in the door and chuckled to himself as he was Bakura pointing at the appliance accusingly, in utter seriousness.

"I condemn you! You Ra forsaken box of uselessness! I put bread in you EXPECTING toast! But you sit there, unmoving! You're not broken! You can't use that excuse! You're brand new! See this?" Bakura hit the toaster with a cardboard box. "This is the box I just pulled you out of! It says Super toaster, for up to FOUR slices! GUARUNTEED that I will get fucking TOAST! I see no toast! This is bread! See this BREAD!" He three a piece of bread at the toaster.

Despite the wanting to watch Bakura continue to flip out, and finding it more comical that MXC on Spike TV, he needed to save his brand new toaster. Or his hikari would get mad...And do something drastic...Like clean the house that he'd spent weeks getting it just messy enough.

"I HATE YOU! You forsake the laws of the gods! Portable bread cooker my ass! I liked stone fire pits better! At least I KNOW they work! That's right you damnedable thing, I'm telling you you're WORTHLESS! And I should send you straight to the shadow realm for your imputence!"

"Ahem...Kura?" Bakura turned around to see Marik standing in the door way.

"What!" He growled still irritated.

"To make toast, in a toaster...You first need to plug in the power cord."

Bakura blinked and looked over at it. Realizing that he had not plugged it in. He turned and looked over at Marik.

"I looooost to that thing again...!"

"Oh Kura, that's okay...At least it wasn't the dishwasher this time..."

"You're not making me feel better you jackass!"

"You want me to make you feel better?" Marik smirked sliding up closer to the thief.

"Yes..."

"Would throwing you down on this table make you feel better?"

"Maybe..." Bakura grinned slightly.

"Or would you rather I tear your clothes off and run my tongue all over you on the kitchen floor?"

"Perhaps..." The smile grew wider.

"Or maybe I could cut the power off and we can go at it blind and ruin EVERYTHING in the house?"

"Oh yes lets!"

"As you wish!"

xxx

_Leo: XD Yes, youknow I'm a pervert...And one day I might write a lemon...One day O.o_

_OKay if you don't have Spike TV, don't worry about what MXC is...It's just a stupid (yet really fucking funny) japanese game show, translated to sound very funny._


	14. Dare

_Leo: I'm sorry it's taken so long XP lately I haven't been getting much done...But don't worry :3 I have a few more ready for you!_

**Dare**

"I'm telling you, you are a sucker for truth or dare!" Bakura chuckled walking into the house with Jou behind him.

"I am not!"

"You are too! What about that time you were dared to break into Kaiba's mansion? Then you did and got caught? Remeber that?"

"Oh hush it Bakura, you do even crazier thing that I do!" Jou defended.

"Oh? Well duh I'm more insane than you!"

"Yeah well come on! Even I know not to hang upside down in a tree for two hours! thirty feet off the ground by the way!"

"Hey hey hey! It's not MY fault! The pharaoh didn't think I could do it! He also didn't think I'd shove my tongue down your throat and frisk you in front of everyone now did he!"

"Actually he probably did..."

"Yeah well what ever, that's not the point! You call ME crazy for hanging in a tree! Bah! You ate a box, 64 count, of crayons!"

"They're NON-TOXIC! They can't hurt me! You're the one chewed out the bottom of a plastic soda bottle with nothing but you're teeth!"

"That was hard you little bastard! And who are you to talk! At least I didn't eat that sandwich...The one with peanut butter, jelly, mayonaise, mustard, ketchum, relish AND marshmellow creme!"

"Dude, don't bring that up again..." Jou quickly covered his mouth as he recalled the nastiness of that dare.

"Even I wouldn't have taken that one!"

"Yeah well I'm stupider than you okay?"

"Yes...I know that...Well go sit down, you cripple."

"What'd you call me?"

"You heard me, mutt, go take you and your broken leg out into the living room. I'll bring you something to munch on...I suppose...Don't get used to me being so nice."

"Hmph...I wouldn't dream of it!" Jou replied hobbling out of the kitchen with his crutches.

"You know you wouldn't have broken it if you hadn't accepted the dare to ride a bike out of a tree!"

"Shuddup!"

xxx

_Leo: Guess what everyone! Every one of those dares (save breaking into Kaiba's house, it WAS someone elses house though... XP) are dares I've done XD The bike out of the tree was something a friend of mine actually did and broke his leg for XP_


	15. Out of the Question

_Leo: This is a BakuraxYugi! Beware of long Bakura rants XD _

**Out of the Question**

"Hey Bakura," Yugi blinked looking over at the yami currently rolled all up in his bed sheets like a wet dog trying to dry itself.

"Yesh?" Came the muffled reply.

"What do you think Yami would do if I told him about you and me?"

Bakura poked his head out, hair dripping wet from the shower he'd just taken. "You mean tell the pharaoh I'm corrupting his light?"

"I suppose you could put it that way..."

"Oh he would most likely, drag me out by my ankles, break both of my wrists with his puzzle, so I couldn't fight back. Then he'd drag me out in the front yard and tie me up to the tree, or light post, which ever he thinks will be morehumiliating, then he'll probably find a nice stick, or two by four with a nail in it, to flog me with. After he's done doing that he'll most likely wait til I wake up, then he'll break all my ribs out with a duel monster's statue. If he had his way he'd call Kaiba and get his firing squad to come shoot a dozen or so pounds of lead into me, but not enough to kill me! Because he wouldn't be done torturing me you see!

Then, remember I'd still be out side during this time! He'd wait until it was the brightest time of the day, then he'd take a magnifier glass and hold it in my face and watch as my skin slowly set on fire! After that he'd rip all of my hair out with his teeth and cut my legs off with a nail filer! All the while screaming morbid profanities and cursing me to an afterlife of hell and torment! The he'd wait until the sun went down, he'd take me off the tree wrap me in a body bag, drive me down to the river, and stab me with something sharp, like his hair, multiple times! Then he'd throw me into the river and watch the crocodiles EAT ME!" By this time Bakura had unwrapped himself and stood up on the bed all dramatically. "...THAT BASTARD!"

"Um...Bakura...That's something YOU would do..."

"No, no no! Well yes I would...But this is Yami, Yugi-koi! This is ME we're talking about! Yami HATES me with a fiery blazing inferno of passion! I mean we're talking hate of all hate! Loathe for eternity plus ONE! He'd over come his supposedly righteous ways in order to cause me bodily harm! He'd have no issue destroying my soul and all that I am! It would be his greatest excuse to annihilate me! "

"Uh...So I guess telling him that you've been as you put it 'corrupting' me just out of the question?"

"Nah, want me to call him now? I know his cell phone number!"

Yugi blinked "Um...that's...okay...I'll tell him...later...Bakura?"

"Yeah?"

"Um...You might want to put some clothes on...not that -I- mind, but if grandpa walks in...He may have a heart attack with you standing all dramatically while naked on my bed..."

"Oh...Okay." Bakura sat back on the bed and rolled back up in Yugi's comforter.

xxx

_Leo: There! I Hope the BakuraxYugi fans enjoyed that :3!_

_And by the way, yes Sweet-chan(new name for youXD) I did shove my tongue down someones throat and frisk them...I don't think He minded though XD._

_And Ryua, if it has Tea/Anzu in it and she's not getting maimed in some way, I won't read it...I do NOT like Anzu..._


	16. Long rant

_Leo: I guess you could say this is a darkshipping XD Warning if I haven't disturbed you already, then I may in the future XD and If these drabbles have disturbed and/or corrupted your fragile little mind then...ROCK ON! XD_

**Long Rant**

"Bakura! Oh my god what happened! You look like you got struck by lightening!" Ryou shrieked walking into the house to see Bakura sitting at the kitchen counter with his white hair frizzled and black spots on his face.

"Thank you for noticing lovely hikari of mine..."

"You didn't stick your tongue in an electrical outlet did you?"

"NO! Though I will admit it did have something to do with an outlet...Ryou I thought you said metal doesn't conduct electricity!"

"No Bakura! I said it DID!"

"Oh." Bakura blinked at glanced over at the butter knife sitting by the outlet. "I forgot!"

"Why were you sticking a knife in an outlet anyways!"

"It started sparking and I wanted to make it stop!"

"Oh my god!" Ryou held up his hands in disbelief. "You could have killed yourself!"

"Oh...really?" Bakura asked looking dead serious.

"YES!"

"Cool."

"Oh my god what happened to you?" Yugi asked walking through the front door after hearing Ryou's shout, with him was Yami.

"Don't you say a DAMN thing pharaoh!" Bakura pointed at Yami accusingly.

"OH.MY.RA!" Yami said covering his mouth so as not to simply laugh in the thief's face. Bakura growled and hopped off the stool approaching Yami.

"I forsee a long rant coming on..." Ryou blinked.

"SHUT UP PHARAOH!" Bakura screeched getting up in the man's face. "At least I look like I got electricuted for a reason! What's your excuse you deformed palmtree headed thing! I'm waiting for the fucking coconuts to fall out anyday now! Or possibly buckets of skittles to pour out, which ever comes first! They say there's a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow you know, But i don't see any gold on you! Except that obnoxious triangle pyramid thing! That blasted piece of crap that I want to steal from you so badly!

And really what is UP with that THING? If you were to, say, accidentally trip and fall that thing could SOOO break out your ribs! It least mine is more practical! Yeah I think my ring is better than your puzzle! At least mine can take people's souls! That's cooler than whatever your pharaoh power is! Bah, pharaoh! If you're a pharaoh then I should be the next pope! It wouldn't be hard to take over the world then! Not that I want to anymore seeing just how shitty the world is!

And I totally blame that on YOU! If you'd let me destory the world 5000 years ago then none of this would be happening now! But no! I'm Bakura, so lets deprive him the right to eliminate all of mankind! And seal him away into a fucking piece of costum jewlery. Oh and lets not forget how it's made out of MY VILLAGE! Yeah I still don't forgive your father for that. I hope Ammit eats his soul! Oh but he's a pharaoh! Pharaoh's don't NEED to be judged! That's like SO messed up!

Why can't I be a god-damned pharaoh? I'd make everyone fear me! I'd make them see that anniahlating people's homes and family IS WRONG! That's NOT FAIR! I want power to make people bow down to me! I deserve some damn respect! I'm not just a thief I'm a human being! An abused one! One treated lower than dirt! By the way did I tell you I think your hair sucks?"

Everyone blinked as they treied to tke it all in at once. With Bakura speaking on one breath, and talking incredibly fast it was hard to tell the end of once sentence from the beginning of the next.

"Bakura?" Yami looked at the thief seriously.

"Yes?" Bakura looked at Yami mindlessly tapping his fingers together as it eased the tension in his restless hands.

"I think you're hot."

"Really?"

"Yes."

Ryou and Yugi's eyes widened as they watched Bakura throw himself at Yami, followed by some animalistic growling and a loud thump as the two hit the floor.

"Uh...Let's go to your room Ryou!" Yugi said looking away.

"Yes, that's a great idea." And the two scurried to Ryou's room leaving the other two do do what ever it was that they were going to do.

xxx

_Leo: That was indeed a TRUE multiparagraph rant :3 By the way, I shall be doing a BakuraxMahaado one next! And I might follow that up with a thiefshipping. Also it might be a while before I post again, i must apologize, but my headaches are preventing me from sitting straight for very long, or straining my eyes. So when they recede updating will return to its norm:3 _


	17. Sorry?

_Leo: Tis a BakuraxMahaado one. sorry about not updating I kinda counld't because of my misbehaving computer. But I will try as much as I can to update more!_

**Sorry?**

Bakura yawned sitting cross legged on the cliff over seeing the city. In the center of the city stood the pharaoh's palace. The one he'd bombarded. He smiled to himself and ran a hand along the golden millenium ring. He nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt a shimmer behing him.

"What the?" He turned around quickly and let out a sigh of relief upon seeing the semi transparent form of the Dark Magician. "What the hell'd you do that for! You nearly scared me shitless!"

"You deserve it! You said you wouldn't kill me completely! I mean you know, not entirely...um...well YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY!"

"...Hey...Um...It was an accident...I had to make it look semi realistic!"

"So you killed ME! The WHOLE purpose was to kidnap me remember!" The magician aka Mahaado scowled. "Not turn me into a shadow monster! Don't you know this is going to end up putting me even furthur up the pharaoh's ass than I was before! YOu bastard you were supposed to take me away from here!"

"I'm sorry! okay once I get all the items I'll kill that idiot pharaoh and restore your body okay?"

"Can you even do that?"

"I dunno..." The thief Shrugged.

"Great...You don't even know..." He sighed.

"Look if it makes you feel better I still love you...Even it it would be kinda hard to do the normally raunchy things I do to a see through body..."

"Yeah...I guess I forgive you then...maybe."

"...Oh by the way...Mana got turned into the Dark Magician Girl..." Bakura added afterwards.

"I TAKE IT BACK! I HATE YOU!" Mahaado groaned realizing that he would end up spending a good eternity or two near that annoying child...

"I thought you might say that." Bakura mumbled taking a bite out of an onion. He noticed a person looking up at him oddly. And realized they couldn't see the magician. "WHAT! CAN'T A PERSON TALK TO THEMSELF EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE? Sheesh...you'd think they thought I was crazy or something.

"Bakura..."

"Shut up Mahaado or I'll kill you again."

xxx

_Leo: OKay that didn't turn out the way I wanted to but it was mainly what I wanted to do...My plans are for an BakuraxOtogi next! So until then I loves you all!_


	18. Acts of Violence

_Leo: You know I realize I make more fun of Bakura than anything else in this o.o; It's not intentional...He just turns out like an air head in these types of things I write._

**Acts of violence?**

"Hey bitch." Bakura mumbled watching the figure stride into the room.

"That's a nice way to address someone Bakura..." A pair of green eyes rolled.

"What? That's my way of saying hello!"

"No, your way of saying hello was, 'shut the fuck up idiot mortal', remember?" Was the reply as he flicked the dice earing randomly.

"Oh yeah...shut up Otogi! Who asked you!"

"I believe you called my attention...that's just as good as you asking..."

"You know what...You You You..."

"You what?"

"I'm THINKING! shut up!"

"That's breaking news Bakura! We should alert the media! IMMEDIATELY!" Otogi faked a surprised gasp.

"You know what I'm going to kick your scrawning, girly, dice throwing ass if you don't shut the hell up! How many times do I have to tell you! Don't make me do something drastic! I'm violent! You know I am! Ryou can vouch for that! I threw a cat out a window once! Granted it was three feet from the ground but that's beside the point! I made the gesture! I was acting in violence! Ask Malik! He'll tell you! I got his hair stuck in one of those circle brushes! And I'm telling you that shit IS torture! Don't even try to tell me it's not! And and and, I once ripped up a very rare card of the pharaoh's! Granted I got my ass sent to the shadow realm fifty times, and I had to replace the stupid fucking card, but I did it in an act of VIOLENCE! Like that time I smashed a fold in chair over Marik's head because he wouldn't get his head out of the blender...That could have been a very BAD scene you know. Hikari would have had a heart attack if his kitchen got covered in Marik blood...Why he had his head in there I'll never know but either way...So yeah! I could like TOTALLY get real mean with you! You don't frighten me with your modern day comebacks and your mortal crap. I can't freaking remember where I was going with this whole damn thing, but shut up anyways!"

"No wonder your voice sounds raspy all the time... You talk for ten minutes on one breath of air...Your lungs must be shriveling by now..."

"Yeah, they are...It's kinda like pouring salk on a slug...But after a while you get used to the burning feeling..."

"Ah...okay...so uh, are you ready to go?"

"Oh yeah...uh huh..." Bakura nodded his head remembering that they were going on a 'date' as they called it. More of a prolonged foreplay to Bakura, but what ever they wanted to call it. He merely shrugged it off.

"So what kinda movie do you want to see? I know the answer but I just want to hear you say it anyways..."

"You're just creepy like that Otogi, but I can dig it, I like creepy. Hence the reason I'm still conversating with you."

"Conversating?"

"OKAY, enough making fun of the Bakura. And I want to see some thing with random acts of violence in it!"

"Like I said, I already knew that...That leaves you with two choices...A Steven Segal movie or a Chuck Norris movie."

"Shit...You can't expect me to actually pick ONE!" He exclaimed then noticed the look Otogi gave him. "Okay fine Segal it is! Only because he's got a nice ass..."

Otogi rolled his eyes dragging Bakura out of the room. They had such a strange relationship...There was no doubt there.

_xxx_

_Leo: Okay if you've never seen a Segal or Chuck Norris movie. There is lots of karate type violence in which some one gets an arm broken or thrown out a window. Norris is older than Segal. And that's all you really need to know._

_Is it me or do I seem oriented with Otogi lately? Oh well XP _


	19. You're Weird

_Leo; I've gotten an...odd request, and just to sate the person, and for my own curiousity too, I think I will use this pairing. Just for curiosity purposes only. This shall be a BakuraXAmelda Attempt, yes you heard me right. If you do not know who Amelda (Alister in the English) is then don't bother with this chapter, because you'll be at a loss. If you're curious I'm sure there are sites you can go to, to figure out who this guy is, if you care that much._**

* * *

**

**You're Weird**

"You're weird." Bakura mumbled as he sat on the ground, as opposed to the bence that was a total of ten inches away from him. He, as most people might clearly tell as he lays across the walk way, isn't having one of his brightest days. Hanging around his hikari's friends will do that to you.

"I'M weird? Bakura, I'M weird? Look at you! You just rolled into an ant pile by the way." The red head slapped his forehead of his boyfriend's stupidity.

"Aiieeee! Shit!" He scrambled up and shoot his back free of the ants. "And yes I said you're weird."

"I cannot possibly be any worse than you."

"Oh ho! Playing a battle of wits with me are you!"

"No, but if you'd like to believe that, I seriously don't think I have the power to stop you. Because we all know that once you open your mouth, you keep going until one of three things happen, you pass out from lack of air, you get shot in the head by the police who are accusing you of murdering people's ear drums or Yami decides to stop by for a game of duel monsters and you lose and retreat to where ever it is you go." Amelda yawned innocently, knowing he was recieving a deadly glare that would have already skewered him if looks could kill.

"Oh like you have much to talk about Mr. Kaiba obsessed fan-freak." Bad choice of words Bakura. Bad. No World destruction, death and uncontrolable power for you!

"WHAT? I do NOT obsess over, that, that, that..."

"Say it you pansy."

"That scum sucking piece of shit, bastard!"

"You feel better don't you?"

"Yes. And you're the weirder one! You're the one who talks to himself. In your sleep, when you're awake, on purpose, most of the time I don't even know if you realize there's no one in the room but you."

"If you hear me then I wasn't alone." Bakura countered.

"Except that you're loud enough to be heard outside while I'm watering the lawn and pitching forks at that stupid cat next door." Amelda...counter countered?

"You know what! Well, at least I don't look like a chick at first glance!"

"Yes you do!"

"Shut up that was OT the point I was making!"

"Yes it was!"

"Okay it was, but that's not the point!"

"Yes it-"

"Damn YOU!"

"And you're always the one to fall into the obvious mind fuck traps."

"Since when did you talk so foul?"

"Since you corrupted me, like you did with EVERYONE else. Yugi has his nose pierced in six places now you know that right?"

"Six?" Bakura gasped. "Sweet! I have to go see that sometime."

"I wouldn't do that, Yami's out for you blood right now. Though I don't think it would take him and all his non-existant man power to do it...Give you a knife and you'll try and off yourself if you find enough amusement in it."

"Hey hey hey! I only did that once!"

"Four times."

"Twice!"

"Four times."

"Okay it was four!" Bakura stopped and thought (gasp!). "Wow, I really am fucking weird aren't I?"

"There, my point has finally been made."

"Yeah...See I told you! I am weird...wait a minute..we were talking about YOU!"

"Haha, gotcha sucker." Amelda grinned to himself, feeling mighty accomplished.

Bakura scowled and laid back down, back in the ant pile. Score two points for Amelda for that one.

* * *

_Leo: Okay that was random, but I needed something to get back into these drabbles right? Well, my main focus is going to be finishing any long stories I have so I'll write one for this every now and then, along with whatever one shots or what ever, my mind warps up. And don't worry people, i've got some twisted ideas for stories coming up. Be prepared. cackles._


	20. Crossdress Party x you heard right

_Leo: Tis for ApocalypseSakura! Because she's mah buddeh! This is a Bakura Dartz! And Dartz might be a little OOC because I can make him like that X3! So don't bitch at me, comprende?_

* * *

**Crossdress Party**

"Mreh...This looks like shit."

"Damn it Bakura, what is taking you so long...?"

"Don't you get iffy with ME Dartz or I'll pull your hair out." Bakura said unbuckling the clasp and letting the clothes drop to the floor.

"...Well come on, it doesn't take four hours, twenty minutes and six seconds to pick out ONE pair of clothes!"

"God damn it!" Bakura hurled a shoe out the dressing room curtain, though he missed his target as Dartz stepped to the side "You're not helping me!"

"Like I'd know about this kinda thing...I'm older than you are! And you're clueless..."

"Watch it bastard! If you'd make an attempt to help it would be great!"

"Why do you have to go fancying yourself up for Kaiba's christmas party? Why do we have to go to Kaiba's christmas party? Why the fuck are we celebrating christmas?"

"Would you quit getting an attitude? You're starting to sound like Marik with all his bitching." Bakura threw another rejected clothing item out onto the floor.

"It's not even right to compare me to him! He's your dejected friend, not mine...Let's just go...I could trust Valon to be faster than this and he has about as much a brain as the Pharaoh has sensible hair..."

"LOOK JERK! HELP ME!" Bakura scowled throwing the curtain open with a growl.

"Now Bakura, YOU dragged me here...Not the other way around, and granted I may well appreciate the view, but I doubt some of the heterosexual customers enjoy your display..." Dartz grinned, running his gold and aqua eyes over the exposed body of the thief.

"..." Bakura's eyes widened as he realized he'd forgotten to put his clothes back on. "DAMN YOU DARTZ!" He threw the curtain across the rod, closing off the mass of customer's views.

"Hey you did it, not me." Dartz chuckled to himself. "Though if you want me to help it's going to be the very fist thing I see that you wear, you hear me."

Moments later Bakura immerged, irritation and embarassment written all over his pale face. "Fine pick something out, I don't care I'll wear it I just don't want to freaking BE here! It's harder than I thought I would be..."

"Very well you asked for it."

X...X...X

"Wow...Um Bakura you look differen't...nice though...I think..."

"Can it Jounouchi, I don't like you're whiney voice, so don't try to make this better." Bakura glared at the blonde as he wished he'd never accepted the invitation to Kaiba's party.

"Why are you giving me that look Bakura? I can see it out of the corner of my eye you know..." Dartz whistled.

"LOOK at what I'm wearing you dipshit!"

"Hey don't call me a dipshit you twit, you're the one who went along with it!" Dartz said knocking into Bakura slightly.

"YOU said the first thing you picked! How could THIS be the FIRST thing you saw?" He retorted swaying his hips into Dartz' side.

"Hey you had the opportunity to back out but you didn't so don't you start...Do you want to draw MORE attention to yourself?"

"NO! I want to get out of here before that bastard pharaoh sees me!" Bakura shrieked in a whisper.

"Why? That's half of the amusement."

"You're wicked..." The thief huffed.

"I'm not evil for nothing you know." He snickered.

Bakura went to say something but was cut off by a whistle. He spun around and nearly died at the sight of a certain CEO. At that moment he felt like crumbling into a little Bakura puddle.

"Well...I didn't know I'd arranged a cross dress party..." Kaiba raised an eyebrow and put his hand on his chin in a questioning manner.

"Shut up Kaiba." Bakura growled wanting to die right there.

"Oh but it's simply top of the line, Kaiba. He spent four hours to come to this conclusion." Dartz pointed at Bakura's attire.

"Well! Then I shouldn't make cracks at it then should I? That's okay Bakura, we all kew you had a strange secret somewhere in there." Kaiba snickered making himself scarce in the crowd.

"When we get home Dartz, I am rippng out all of your hair."

"No you won't."

"Shut up."

"Well well well Bakura. Don't you just look beautiful in your pretty red dress." Bakura stopped and turned slowly mentally wincing at the sight of the pharaoh who was on edge of dying of laughter.

"Pharaoh, right now I really sincerely wish you would die. Spontaniously combust or something." Bakura's face turned red as he sprinted toward the door, with Dartz following him of course.

"I hate you, that was so humiliating." He said turning to Dartz after getting out of ear shot of everyone else.

"You're a horrible liar Bakura."

"What?"

"Don't even TRY to tell me you DIDN'T feel like hot shit walking in there. You're just trying to hide the fact that my choice actually pleases you. I know you. You're still beaming at the fact that you made Kaiba's face change colors."

"So...? What's your point?" Bakura huffed flicking his hair back, like his awesome sexiness is allowed to do.

"I've already made my point, now I know you'd like to go back in there and see how many people you can make nosebleed, so quit your bitching and let's go." He pulled Bakura along who was grinning evilly.

* * *

_Leo: Yeah that made no sense, but I don't care. Shadow-chan gave me the idea a while ago and I finally got time to do it. So yeah._


	21. Scarred

_Leo: I got the weird request of a PegasusxBakuraxDartz... and due to the incredible weirdness and current non-existence of this pairing I though, you know what! I'll take this challenge! Of course I have no name for this shipping, because it currently hasn't been done, as far as I know. But we all know how I like to break away from normal :3!_

**Scarred**

Bakura walked into the large dining hall. Huge windows surrounded the equally gargantuan room and shone the dark dreary light in as the rain began to beat the windows, in the midday down pour. Bakura, hating the lackluster weather, simply wanted to beat his head against that stupid window. If not for the reflection glaring back, and portraying how stupid he would have looked, he might have done it. Instead he turned from the window to face the two people sitting, equally as weary.

"You know, you guys could do something!"

"And what do you propose?" Dartz replied with his head on the table, and feeling way too old for this crap.

"For one you could try sitting up and looking at me." Bakura huffed.

"I look at you every day. I think new scenery is good for me."

"But do you really consider a glass table top good scenery?" Pegasus replied sipping his glass of lemonade, since Bakura said no wine before 6:15. Why 6:15, no one will ever know.

"Depends...Glass is clear you know...And I get quite the marvelous view with you sitting across from me." A dark chuckle followed.

"I'll pretend I didn't hear you say something more perverted than me." Bakura strode over to him and lifted his head up. "Come on, you guys are like supposed to be geniuses or something...Think! I don't know entertainment from a metal peg in a train track!"

"Metal peg in a train track? My, my, Bakura, you're quite the literary creator today."

"Hush Pegsy. Think, you two!"

"You have a perfectly good brain," A cough followed, "Besides, I'm too old to formulate complete thoughts anymore."

"Oh PLEASE, Dartz! You have more thought process than a lot of people! Besides, the one with the most experience should be the one with the most ideas!"

"I suppose I should sit out this round then?" Pegasus leaned back and crossed his ankle over his knee.

"You're not supposed to be a smart ass...you're elegant and refined...stay that way..." Bakura scowled, but only received a chuckle from both of his companions.

"But in all seriousness...All of my ideas are probably not appropriate...not that the two of you mind...However I have a daughter in the other room playing...what's that fucking thing called? Play something...Uh..."

"Play Station 2? And when did you start talking like...me?"

"Influence is a dangerous thing." Pegasus answered and the aqua haired Atlantean simply nodded his head in agreement.

"You people are so wrongful, teaming up on me like that!"

"We do it out of love...Really. I promise. We only pick on you...well because it's amusing too...Okay it's just amusing."

"If you weren't so damn pretty, I'd have shoved your face in a blender by now...I hope you know that."

"Oh indeed..."

"You simply threaten the both of us, everyway, my darling."

"Pegasus...I'm going to leap over this table and strangle you if you call me darling one more time."

"...Love muffin?"

"That's it. You're dead." Bakura threw himself over the table at Pegasus, but at the same time, dragged an unfortunate Dartz with him. The poor, shiny, beautifully crafted table took a hard hit as the three of them toppled backwards into Pegasus' fallen over chair.

"Ow, god damn it!" Bakura howled as the back of his leg smashed into the table.

"Now look what you did!"

"ME?"

"Uh...Daddy?" They all froze at the sound of Dartz' daughter's voice. "Are you guys...okay!" She squeaked after seeing the three thrown about each other on the floor.

"As much as I wish it was, this is NOT what it looks like!"

"Dartz!"

"What? Honesty is the best policy! But uh...honey, how would you like to go on a trip to Canada to see some mooses?"

"Oh real smooth..."

"What it worked when Kaiba used it on Mokuba..."

"I'll leave you to your alone time now..." The girl stepped away slowly, and like a zombie, walked back to the Play Station.

"I think we've scarred her..."

"That wouldn't be the first time, my darlings..." Both Dartz and Bakura looked down at Pegasus. "I was kidding! I was kidding!"

"We've GOT to learn to get a lock for that door...or every door." Bakura sighed, leaning his head back against someone's arm.

"Um...As fun as it is having his knee in my kidney, I suppose we ought to get up?"

"Ah fine, you spoil all my fun."

"Yeah, I'd like to see you say that tomorrow morning..."

"Stop with the innuendos!"

xXx

_Leo: Okay, yeah weird, it was intended to be weird, they're very weird people...Much like myself...and the next one shall be yet another weird request I've received! Which is a AmeldaxBakuraxSetoXOtogi! Yeah that's right! Stay tuned to find out how I make THAT work!_


	22. Horrible Cliches

_Leo: Bwaha, here comes the top of the line interesting pairing, AmeldaxBakuraxSetoXOtogi! How WILL I do it!_

_Also, I'd like to point out that the only pairings I will take requests on are ones that are out of whack rare, hardly done and under appreciated. I will do others, but at my own discretion. Also, I'm firm in my refusal to do a BakuraxMokuba, so please don't ask, or I will disappoint you._

**Horrible Clichés**

"Shut up for the last damn time, Amelda. I'm not kidding that fire place needs reloading and I'm itching to see how well human flesh burns over a roasting fire." Bakura heard Seto growl as he walked into the room with two cups of hot chocolate, with Otogi following closely behind him.

"Do I have to separate you two?" The white haired thief rolled his eyes.

"He's being an ass!"

"He's being annoying!"

"I hate him!"

"I hate HIM more!"

"Are you adults or five year olds?" Otogi sighed handing one of the mugs to Amelda, while taking the other himself.

"Seriously..." Bakura set down next to Seto and handed him a mug. "I've heard you both say things that very quickly contradicts your supposed distaste for one another..." He added a smirk and wiggled his eyebrows for added effect. Both of the stubborn men changed colors as the heat rushed to their faces.

"I..." Seto's mouth slammed shut before he had the chance to come out with something that would probably make him feel VERY stupid.

"Besides, you both know you have no choice. As he weather seems to see fit, we're stuck here for a while." Otogi added.

"It's not my fault it snows in Canada! How was I supposed to know there would be a blizzard! I bought this cabin without knowledge of this!"

"Should have done your research Kaiba!" Amelda snarled irritatingly.

"If you don't shut the fu-"

"Stop it right now both of your or I'm going to pepper spray you both, just like last time!" Bakura warned.

"That, too, was unfair!" Amelda grumbled as he curled his legs underneath him and leaned against Seto.

"And what do you think I am, your pillow?" The CEO mumbled.

"If I want you to be then yes!"

"Children!"

Bakura shook his head. How silly and stubborn they could be, even as they snuggled up next to each other, much like Otogi was to him. He contemplated crossing the room to join them, but instead got a better idea.

"Be right back." He stood up and waltzed over to the linen closet by the heater, which kept all the blankets nice and cozy warm. He, without bothering to think about which ones to pull down, took them all. He returned to the living room and dropped them on the floor. And under curious eyes laid them out across the open space right in front of the fireplace that was smoldering.

"Ooooh, setting the scene, eh?"

"Eh? Seto you're beginning to take on the characteristics of the fellow citizen's of this country. And I figured ONE of you ought to catch on. I'm NOT going to even try to fit all of us on that couch. Especially when there are warm blankets and more pillows than god himself would know what to do with."

Bakura pulled the three on the floor with him one by one and they all snuggled together as the heavy and cold winds bore down on their little wooden get away cabin.

"Tell anyone that I snuggle and you'll all wake up bald, you hear me?" Bakura spoke, breaking the silence after several moments.

"Got it." They all replied, fearful he would actually do it.

"So...Do you two really think it's so dreadful now?" Otogi asked as he was nuzzled by Bakura and curled against Amelda.

"I suppose it could be worse."

"Oh my Ra! NO you didn't! Don't you know, from all those horrible clichés that the modern world over exaggerates, that when you say that-"

Fate decided to take a moment and bring said horrible cliché to life and hail down a nugget of ice directly through the window.

"... Something bad will happen...you are sooo fixing that window..."

"That was a freak act of some higher being! Not because I said it..."

"Yeah, yeah, tell that to God..."

"Seto...you don't believe in a god..." Otogi noted.

"You're ruining my dramatic moment here..."

"I'M the dramatic one here, remember?"

"Bakura...you're ruining my OTHER dramatic moment."

"I have a feeling this could go on for awhile, and will someone PLEASE cover that hole in the window! I'm freezing my ass off here!" Amelda whined.

"Hellooo Canada..." Bakura rolled his eyes, and set his head back to pout as their first trip to the foreign land wasn't looking too bright.

"Blame Canada?"

"...No more South Park for you, Seto."

XxX

_Leo: If you haven't noticed by now, I mention Canada a lot. Well, this is because my family is Canadian. Therefore I like Canada :3! (Actually I like it because of the mooses...but that's not the point.) I got a request for a ThiefBakuraxAtemuxBakuraxYamixRyouxYugi...yeah a lot of people, so be expecting that! _


	23. Bakura's Wishlist

_Leo: I decide to take a brief break from any real pairing for a chapter._

**Bakura's Wish list**

Before Christmas Ryou had asked his yami to write down ten things he would like. And so, begrudgingly the yami did indeed to as such. And wrote them down, scribbled in his horrid Japanese handwriting.

1. Yami's head on a platter made of gold.  
2. A male stripper in a skirt.  
3. A pellet gun to shoot birds.  
4. A real gun to shoot people.  
5. A street sweeper.  
6. A staple gun and about three boxes of staples. (no questions asked).  
7. Black gloves, a ski mask, and a crow bar, (no questions asked)  
8. The book of Shadows (Bakura watches too much Charmed)  
9. A gong.  
10. A brand new toaster-smashing hammer.

Of course Ryou could not provide most of it, and so he compromised, and this is what Bakura found on Christmas morning.

1. A cake shaped like Yami's head on a paper plate.  
2. Marik in a skirt, and only a skirt, under the Christmas tree.  
3. A water gun. (Which promptly reminded Bakura he hasn't finished playing Pokemon)  
4. A Nurf Gun (of which Bakura enjoyed making people crash their cars because of the suction darts)  
5. A broom...(Street sweepers are far to expensive)  
6. A stapler, without staples.  
7. A robe covered in ducks. ("WTF HIKARI)  
8. A purple Notebook ("DAMN YOU HIKARI)  
9. A gong with out the drum thing.  
10. A brand new toaster that he could decimate with out harming the one used.

Xxx

_Leo: Snort, I really don't have any idea where that came from...There are several references to show in this one. Charmed is a show about witches, and their book of spells is called the Book of Shadows. And the street sweeper thing was inspired by Angry Beavers XD!_


	24. Cooking With Bakura

_Leo: This is for Psycho Shadow-chan! Becasue leo luffeths le shadow-chan -gnaws on shadow lovingly- I also wrote thsi at school so please do forgive my errors XD! There are probably lots of them! _

**Cooking with Bakura**

Bakura stood over the box. Folding his arms he leaned down to glower at it. Such a despicable thing for his hikari to make him do. And all for the sake of knowing the secret to unlocking the stupid character from that game. Not that he could remember what its name was. All he cared about was that he could kill things and not get in troble for it.

So in return for finding the secret, he had to bake this...This...THING. This red obstruction that by all rights should not be red to begin with...Even if he thought it was a rather cool idea. But that was certainly beside the initial point. If there ever was one.

So he grabbed for the flamboyantly gay looking apron and tied his messy hair back. As neat as it would be to have red tipped hair, it would not be so much fun smelling like red velvet cake.That might degrade his reputation as 'supreme bass ass, and definate focal object of the universe'. And he wasn't about to let his massive ego be defeated by a damn cake. So alas, for the sake of his ego, and for knowlege of the most bad ass character in the game, he set out to tackle the horrendously sweet creation and make it bow to his will and take cake form out of sheer TERROR.

It wasn't really hard. All you had to do was mix the stuff in a bowl and set it in the oven to bake. That's all. Said to right on the box. He grabbed for the egg, growling loudly as two or three plummeted to the floor, crashign on impact and splattering all over the floor and Ryou's expensive Prussian rug, that really should not have been in the kitchen to begin with.

He cursed, rather loudly, as he kicked his brandnew slippers off and watched them hit the far wall leaving a smear from where the egg had coated his feet. 'Ra forsaken fucking eggs...' his mind screamed loud enough to break glass if mental waves could actually do as such.

He left the mess, brushing it off with the notion of "I'll do it later" and continued to prepare the mix. At the second egg being cracked and added to the bowl, he forgot how many he'd put in...And so just to be sure he added another one and mixed it before adding the milk. Which wasn't an easy task. Not for Bakura at any rate.

Bakura never, and never will be, a cooking genius. And so when he mixed in baking grease instead of vegetable oil, he really paid no mind. After all, all the shit looke the same to him. He'd finally got it mixed, save for the massive mess of the kitchen and began to pour it into the pan.

After doing so he, with oven mits, placed the pan in the oven.

Now about an hour later, he sat up and realized that there was no smell radiating from the kitchen. He walked into the area of cooking, still a complete mes, and the thought finally dawned on him.

"God shit damn mother fucker...I forgot to turn on the oven!" He mentally smacked his head against the wall and pulled the pan out, turning the electric oven on. Greatest thing about the electric oven is that they heat remarkably quickly.

He turned to place the pan back into the oven and snarled as the whoel front of his new white shirt wound up covered in red velvet cake mix. 'Mother Fucker...' He considered throwing the rest of the mix across the room to leave for his hikari, but instead he put what ever was left in the oven and walked away.

"Bakura, I'm back!" He heard the door slam shut before he could get to his room to change his clothes.

"Welcome back hikari-baka, I hope you like your fucking cake..." He mumbled and blinked in question as he saw the expression on Ryou's face go from happiness to horror. "What?"

"Oh me GOD! Yami what happened to you are you okay? How on earth did you manage that from COOKING!"

Bakura looked down in wonder of what the hikari was freaking out about. He looked at the mess upon his shirt and burst into a violent laugter. Apparently Ryou was convinced it was blood all over his shirt because it was RED cake! Oh that is rich!

"Hey, quit squaking, I'm okay, i didn't hurt myself, I fucked up the cake that's all."

"You what?"

In time with Ryou's question the inside of the oven made a gnarly noise, similar to an exploding sound. Ryou looked alarmed before he glanced back at his yami.

"Like I said, that was a fare warning. I have JUST fucked up your cake..."

"Oh yami..." Ryou blinked, somehwo he knew this would happen...Why he's been crazy enough to trust Bakura in his kitchen was beyond his reasonable thinking.

"Do I still get that character code?"

"If you make a vow ever to step foot in my kitchen with the intent to cook, ever again."

"Done deal, and now you've just condemned yourself to cooking for me for the rest of your life."

"As opposed to the alternative I can live with that."

"That was a low blow hikari."

"And well aimed if I do say so myself."

"Now can I have the code?

"Fine fine, go and you're grounded from the kitchen until furthur notice." Ryou smiled lightly as he watched Bakura peel out and lock himself into the bedroom with the playstation 3. Damn thing. 'I should have never let him play it.' Ryou thought. 'Oh well.' And he continued to clean the kitchen, vaguly hearing bakura in the background screaming "what the FUCK! This isn't the big character? Hikari you little snot you gave me the code for the joke weapon! What am I gonna do with a broom against a NINJA!"

Oh and how Ryou laughed.

Moral of the story, do NOT let Bakura in your kitchen, and do NOT trust your hikari.

xxx

_Leo: Okay, I can't really say when i'll update this next, I have a boatload of things planned as far as fics go. So yeah XD! For the curious I post it on my LJ everynow and then so people know what I'm up to. (Shameless ploy to convince people to talk to me, I'm a very lonelay Leo ;-;) I go by LeoOsaka on LJ So yeah...I hope you liked this drabbly thing!_


	25. Anger Management

_Leo: I was bored and I thought I would update a little drably on this. I didn't feel like a pairing so I just wrote a random Bakura centric thing. Featuring Bakura on a monologue!_

**Anger Management**

Bakura sat there as he watched the other people seat themselves, mentally berating himself for letting his hikari get away with putting him there. He wasn't crazy. He was normal, everyone ELSE was crazy. Though he felt a slight bit of satisfaction at the single fact that he wasn't alone. He grinned slightly as he looked across the circle of chairs at Marik who was also forced into this.

Finally every one was ready and the instructor spoke.

"Now you're all here because you seem to have issues controlling your anger, so this is a class to help you manage your anger." The lady smiled in a smile that was too happy to be sane. "Would you like to introduce yourselves?"

Bakura went to raise his hand but was beat to it by Marik.

"Yeah Hi, I'm Marik, I'm technically about 6 years old or something and I hate humanity and would like to see it plunged into darkness. However having gotten my ass proverbially kicked I have been forced into this damnable class in hopes of making me Normal."

"Okaaay…Next."

Bakura stood up before the others could get called on, he had every plan to completely floor everyone in the room.

"Hi, I'm Bakura and I'm technically dead. If it wasn't for the fact that I have an obnoxious hikari who insisted on sending me here I would probably be off sending people's souls into eternal darkness and generally making people's lives a living hell because it satisfies me to no end to see people suffer. I think it would be grand to destroy all of existence, not caring that I will be destroyed with it, because humanity sucks, just like a certain pharaoh I know who's too stupid to remember most of his ancient past. Who gives a fuck if he was a pharaoh! He was a pharaoh for a whole god blessed day! And I was the greatest thief EVER and I get no love! Bastard is lucky he can't die or I would SO kill his ass dead. 3000 years go they wouldn't have put me in a bullshit, let's make you better mentally, class. Hell I don't think we had classes like this back then, most of the time we killed the mentally disturbed. Or maybe that's just what I did but I really don't care. I'm only here because hikari took away my Play station 3 and hid it somewhere where I can't find it. Which is amusing because I'm the KING of thieves and I can't find a damn video game platform. But in order to get it back I must pass this damn class and prove that I can be normal. However clearly that will not happen seeing as how my mental disturbance is incredibly developed from years of spending in a damn piece of junky gold. Which you people have no idea how boring it is when you have to spend half an eternity mentally trying to entertain yourself in a realm of darkness with only a damn man eater bug to play with. Then I wake up to find that I get stuck with a pansy of a host and the pharaoh's hair STILL sucks and my only real rival aside from the pharaoh looks like he stuck his tongue in an electric outlet and forgot to comb his hair back down. Then I lose to the pharaoh MORE times, in THE most unjust manner due to the fact that the lucky Bastard ALWAYS draw the LUCKY card right as my perfect strategy is about to wreak havoc on his life points. Motherfucker my life sucks and now I'm in this damn class because of it all. Goddamn it just sign my papers and say I passed and I'll gladly shut up. Don't and I swear on my life this monologue will go on for hours."

"Uh…sure…I'll sign your papers…" The instructor laughed nervously and quickly dismissed Bakura, he was beyond help as far as she was concerned.

Bakura grinned looking back at Marik, who scowled at him.

'Haha sucker.' The white haired thief mouthed before striding away.

XxX

_Leo: I'm in a long monologue mood…and that's basically what spawned this. I don't' know how often I'll update this story, but I'll try to every now and then._


	26. Concerned Citizens

**Concerned Citizen**

"Hey Ryou."

"Yes Bakura?" Ryou looked up at Bakura who was holding a note pad and a pen.

"I'd like to write a letter to congress!"

"You realize we're in Japan and they rarely listen to concerned citizens anymore right? Well anyways what do you want to write about?"

"I'm thinking that people are being too dangerous with their driving habits! I nearly got hit by a car yesterday because someone didn't put their turning signal on!"

"What a shame."

"HIKARI! I'm being serious!" Bakura huffed.

"Okay, and what do you want them to do about it?" Ryou blinked and sighed, knowing that he had no choice but to listen to Bakura ramble on.

"I think that it should be against the law to not use the turning signal! And if they do they get a ticket!"

"That's sounds like a relatively decent idea...It's unusual of you to think so...rationally!" Ryou sat forward somewhat impressed by Bakura's idea. "Tell me more."

"Okay and people caught cutting other people off should get a ticket too! Drunk drivers should have their licenses taken away and if you don't have your headlights on at night your car should be towed!"

"Maybe you should write a letter to the government."

"Yeah and on to the second offenses!"

"Second offenses?"

"Yeah! If you're caught not using your turning signal twice, you get shot on the spot. If you cut someone off you should be flogged in the street. If you're driving drunk then you should get the gas chamber, and if you don't have your headlights on at night, you should be placed in front of a speeding SEMI!"

"...On second thought Bakura, I don't think you should open your mouth or right anything until you've forgetten everything you just said..."

"Aww come on Ryou...I thought it was a good idea..."

"God help us the way you become Prime Minister..."

xxx

_Leo: I know it's short. But it's something..._


	27. I promise

_Moved over from it's own story! Sorry to anyone who was hoping for something fresh XP  
_

**I promise**

Marik wandered into the bar. It wasn't the greatest place on earth, no not even close, but it wasn't a total hell hole and it certainly wasn't uncommon to see Marik in a place like that anyways. Malik certainly didn't like Marik going to these places but anymore Malik was attached to Ryou at the hip so Marik was no longer showered with all the unwanted attention from his hikari.

He sat down and sighed. He really wasn't out to drink. Maybe he felt he needed the atmosphere. He liked places like these because people usually showed their true colors when liquered up. And that tends to be a little more entertaining than some might believe. Though some people got nasty, especially in combination with Jack Daniels, or Jim Beam.

It seemed quiet Could have been the fact that there was no karaoke, which that was entertainment in itself, or it could have been that it was a monday night, Marik took a quick glance back not bothering to turn all the way around. He saw a white flash in the form of a body walk into the second room. Now if it weren't for the fact that he knew two people who could fit that discription he would have brushed it off. But his curiosity got the best of him as he slid out of his seat and calmly yet descreetly followed the path the white blur had taken.

He never went into that room. Granted he DID drink, and occasionally got drunk and also got into fights. But he wasn't the type for the sluts that hang around at the darkest hours of the night.

He stepped through the door way and stood there glancing around. If he didn't know this person then he wasn't going to go in there. Why go into a place like that when it's not necessary? But as his eyes fell over a familiar face framed by white spikey hair he knew he HAD to go in there.

"Oh you don't look like the conservative type with money. Judging by this suit." He heard Bakura's deep voice compliment, shamelessly. " I bet this is more expensive than some people's vehichles."

"Oh sure, it probably is." The man chuckled, not minding the attention the thief was givng to his neck as he stradled the man's lap.

"I just hope I'm not wrinkling these slacks, you know I'd hate to be responsible for that, as it's obvious I couldn't afford your dry cleaner."

"Hon, I'm paying YOU, remember that."

"I know I know."

Marik bit his lip to prevent a look of disgust from crossing his face. He stopped behind Bakura and cleared his throat. LOUDLY. Bakura growled softly.

"What! I'm work...ing.." The look on Bakura's face was a horrifed one as he turned around and realized just who was standing behind him. "M-Marik?"

"Bakura I need to talk to you, NOW."

"Um...I'll be right back." Bakura smile apologetically and left despite the few annoyed grumbles he heard.

"What are you doing here!" Marik asked as he pulled Bakura into a corner out of sight.

"Uh..."

"NO, don't even answer I KNOW what you're doing, and I don't even want to hear you say it!" Marik growled.

"I-"

"Of all things Bakura...I'd have never thought...You get mad every time the pharaoh calls you a slut because it's true!"

"SHUT UP Marik! You don't understand!"

"Then do the favor to explain it!"

"This is called RENT money! I can't steal it because if I get caught it's Ryou on the line. It's not as easy as it was before now that there's all this technology. I can't get a job either, because I don't legally even exhist!"

"What's this about rent? Ryou's dad sends money every month I know, Malik told me about it."

"Yes, and that's what Ryou believes, he thinks his father still cares, well guess what he stopped sending money a LONG time ago! So who do you think puts the money in the envelope? You think I would tell Ryou? You think I want to show him the letter his dad sent him telling him he'd have to figure it out on his own? I'm supposed to protect him Marik...I'm doing what I can..."

"This may be protecting Ryou, but what about YOU!"

"I'm not proud of this Marik. Don't even THINK I would be. You know me better than to think that. But what choice do I have? Should I sell drugs instead! That way I can help people get addicted to a substance that's probably going to kill them!"

"Damn it Bakura! That's NOT what I was getting at! You could have asked me for help! How about the pharaoh? Despite your hatred for each other I KNOW he would have help you even if only for Ryou's welfare. And Oh god Bakura, we know some one rich enough to buy a country! I'm SURE Kaiba could have FOUND a job for you! I'm sure he'd have use for a professional thief!"

"Look, I didn't exactly have time to think about it! I got that letter from Ryou's dad, the DAY before rent was due! What was a supposed to do? I flipped! And it's not like I didn't do my fair share of selling myself in Egypt, unlike the pharaoh and his nobles I didn't exactly have a silver spoon, I had to WORK for it."

"Kura, that was then this is now! Then you didn't have the people you have now! I'm NOT letting you go back in there do you hear me!"

"Marik, rent is due TOMMOROW! I only NEED 150 more bucks! I CAN make that before the night is over!"

"LOOK BAKURA. You're leaving with ME!" Marik grabbed Bakura's wrist and pulled him out the door and throught the bar area.

"MARIK! LET ME GO!" Bakura tried to pull away. "Where will we go Marik! I've been doing fine up until now! I've been supporting the two of us JUST FINE!"

"Bakura! STOP IT!" The thief silenced at Marik's raised voice. "We have an extra bedroom and a guest room that the two of your could stay in. You'll NEVER be on the streets. Niether living there nor selling yourself there."

"What...what am I going to tell Ryou? How am I going to tell him..." Bakura fell to his knees and Marik kneeled down before him.

"Kura..."

"This is so shameful...I never thought I'd have to do this again...But I have to protect my hikari...That's what yamis are for...Yes I hurt him before...But...I have to try to make it up to him...I didn't want him to worry...So even if he didn't know...this was my way to make amends..."

"Ryou forgives you...You know that...Now come on...I'm sure we can convince Kaiba to help you out...And I'm sure you'll get some help from that idiot pharaoh..." Marik looked at him and ran a tanned hand across the thief's white face. "Besides...you're entirly too beautiful to be doing this to yourself."

"Well," Bakura blushed, "I always was a glutton for punishment."

"Yeah, that's very clear, now come on. We'll figure something out for you Kura. Malik's got money in his account that I'm sure he wouldn't mind lending, until we can bribe/threaten Kaiba to get you some sort of job...We don't have to tell Ryou now...But you do need to sometime..."

"I know I know."

Marik stopped and looked at Bakura. The thief looked up at him in confusion.

"Kura...Let me take care of you..."

"Marik..."

"Just shut up for a minute. I've been watching you a lot lately...You've been worrying quite a few people.."

"I have!"

"Yes...Malik, Ryou, even the pharaoh has questioned what's going on with you. When you stopped telling the pharaoh he can shove his puzzle up his ass and twist it, I knew something was different. You got to stop this...We all, pharaoh included, want the violent, mean, hateful, wicked, manipulative, cunnning, brilliant, absolutely sexy Bakura back"  
"Wow, Marik, I never knew you thought that..." Bakura grinned.

"Well I do! I love you damn it! I always have! You're a fucking psycho! You love to get into what ever trouble you can, and like to razz people about anything that you think will annoy them! You're spontaneous, you fear nothing, and you don't give a damn what people think! You're JUST like me! What's NOT to love?"

"Wow...so many compliments..."

"I mean them all!"

"Thank you Marik..."

"No problem...Kura...Let's take you back home shall we?"

"Actually, you could spend the rest of the evening out with me...And I won't charge you." Bakura grinned.

"Oh you're thinking along the lines or getting into major trouble aren't you?" Bakura nodded. "Oh well...then I'm game! But make me a promise."

"Yeah?"

"Promise me that I won't catch you doing that again...I'm serious, I'll kick your ass if you do."

"I promise Marik..I promise." Bakura said grabbing Marik and planting a kiss on his neck. "I won't do it again...But that's not going to stop me from destroying things!"

"I would never ask you to do that!"

"Good, I wouldn't be able to comply to that one." He chuckled wrapping an arm around Marik's waist. "Now let's go cause mayhem!"

Owari

xxx

_Thanks for reading!  
_


	28. Bad Composure

_Also moved from another story. Trying to compile old shit.  
_

**Bad Composure**

"Come on Bakura."

"No, I'm going to fall!"

"You're not even on the ice yet!" Yami placed his hands on his hips as he watched Bakura, who was currently grasping on the side walls of the ice skating rink.

They were there with their hikaris and their friends, but they left to do some actual skating, leaving Yami to TRY and get Bakura on the ice. Note the word: Try.

Yami was getting to the point where he was ready to out and drag Bakura on to the ice. For someone so balanced and calm every other time, he was acting quite spastic. Yami almost found this funny.

"I don't want to go on the ice! Humans were not meant to glide on ice, or our feet would have blades build in!" he tried reasoning, but he knew Yami wasn't buying into it.

"Just give it a try!"

"You're not going to give up are you?"

"No," Yami stated in a matter of fact.

"Fine! But If I break something..."

"You won't! Okay? Come on! I'll hold your hand."

"No! I don't need your help! Are you trying to make me look like a fool?"

"You look like a fool already! Now let go of the wall and step out on the ice. I promise I'll catch you if you fall."

"No, you'll just laugh...Some lover you are." Bakura mumbled inching his way toward the cold, slippery, surface.

"I won't laugh! I had to learn too you know!"

"Shut up." Bakura grumbled as he wobbled on the ice, barely keeping his balance. He reached out and grabbed Yami's arm as he felt himself begin to lose balance.

"I thought you didn't need help?" Yami smirked.

"Just shut up, okay?"

Yami said nothing, he just smiled. He was glad Bakura was at least trying. Hell, he was glad Bakura had even come along. It took an act of some god to get him to agree to go. Even if the thief would complain the entire time, it made Yami incredibly happy.

Bakura slowly began to loosen his grip on Yami, feeling that maybe, just maybe, he could get by without help, at least for a minute or so.

"See you're doing it!" Yami said happily.

It didn't stay that way though...

Bakura wobbled, he tried to reach for Yami, but was slid away from him by another skater. A loud thump and a grumble from Bakura indicated that he was no longer on his feet.

"Bakura are you okay!" Yami rushed over to the white haired thief, who was laying on his back on the ice.

"Oh yes, I'm almost ready for the Olympics." He grumbled sarcastically.

"No need to be a smart ass." Yami helped Bakura up, almost grinning with amusement as Bakura attached himself to Yami.

Malik, who was a surprisingly quick learner, skated toward Yami and Bakura. Following him were Joey and Ryou.

"You still can't skate?" Malik raised an eyebrow.

"Well, forgive me! I'm Egyptian! I'm not meant to slide on ice!"

"That sounds like an excuse ta me, bud!" Joey smiled as Bakura shot a glare at him. Normally Joey would have been freaked out, and truthfully he still was, but he knew that Bakura wouldn't hurt him now that he and Yami were 'dating'.

"It's okay yami, you're not the only one who can't skate." Ryou said looking over at Marik, who'd just slide right into Otogi, sending them both crashing onto the ice.

"Yeah, but that's expected from him..." Yami sweatdropped.

Isis glided up smoothly, stopping next to her brother.

"Are you coming out to skate more brother?"

"Oh yeah! I'll be back to check your status later!" Malik giggled as he joined his sister and Rashid back on the ice.

"I forsee Marik in pain in the near future." Isis smiled as Marik flew past them and crashed head first into the wall of the skating rink.

Malik bit his tongue as he laughed. He knew he shouldn't laugh at his yami, but everyone else was...And really...It WAS funny...

"Damn, he makes me look like a gold medalist." Bakura sweatdropped watching the crazy-haired yami pick himself up slowly.

"Come on guys! Let's make another round!" Anzu...yes Anzu, the annoying one who does the much hated friendship speeches, called. Skating with her was Mai and Shizuka.

"Hope you can can make it out with us!" Ryou smiled, and he and Joey went with the others.

"Yeah, that'll happen...Like..Never!" Bakura grumbled.

"Well if you keep thinking like that then you never will!" Yami looked down at the white haired thief.

"Okay, you be the optimist, and I'll go on being the pessimist and we'll be fine. Just don't go pushing your 'happiness' on me."

"Well if I'm the optimist and you're the pessimist, then what does that make Kaiba? Or Marik?"

"Kaiba is the skeptic and Marik is the Psycho."

"You actually take the time to think about these things don't you?" Yami asked raising one eyebrow.

"Yes actually. Ryou would be the school girl and Anzu would be the Dart Board." Yami giggled at Bakura's comment. He didn't really like Anzu either.

Yami opened his mouth to make joke when a voice spoke up and snapped him from his train of thought.

"You dare crack a joke on my name and I'll tack you to MY dart board and use you as practice." Yami looked up to see a certain long haired Atlantean, whose name happened to be Dartz.

"As practice for what?" Bakura smiled. He was GOING to make him say it.

"I'll...you...know what dart boards are used for child, don't play with me, child."

"Oh but we're not...Teach us!" Yami grinned.

"Yeah, we're younger than you! We don't know these things!" Bakura feigned innocence.

"You throw darts at a dart board! I know you're not that-" Realization caught on. "If I was still after your soul I would have taken it just now! I hope you know that! I mean it's not my fault I have rediculous name!"

"At least you're man enough to admit it, though..." Bakura commented.

"It's not that bad son." A tall, large built man with a beard skated up next to him.

"How do you figure that, father? You're supposed to throw darts at boards, not name your kid after them." He replied clearly irritated. "But really, I can understand why...I mean look at your name...At least my kid has a decent name...God, I'm thankful I have no siblings," he skated away still mumbling to himself.

"Well, that was strange..." Bakura again, commented.

"I've never seen that side of him..." Yami added.

Not but three seconds later, Marik plowed into the unsuspecting Atlantean. And the two went down.

"Gah, get off me!"

"Ow...my poor head..." Marik whined.

"Damn you! Get off! I wish Leviathan had eaten you! You're laying on my hair, you bastard!"

"There went my image of Dartz...I never thought I'd hear a foul word come out of his mouth." Yami said.

"I was expecting it..."

"Well, I see you still have learn to actually skate." Mr. Kaiba himself decided to make his appearance, with little Mokuba, skating circles around him.

"Stuff it up your nose Kaiba!" Bakura snipped. Actual meaning: Oh shove it up your damn ass bastard! But he was being nice for Mokuba's sake. He actually liked Mokuba. The kid was pretty cool. Unlike his brother, or at least that's how Bakura saw it.

"That only proves my point."

"I wouldn't even be here if it weren't for Yami! You're just mad that I got him and you didn't! So nah!" Bakura stuck his tongue out and smirked as Kaiba blushed and skated away.

"Oh that was cold Kura."

"And also true! God," Bakura clutched on to Yami's waist as he felt himself losing his balance. "This sucks I wanna go home!"

"You cry baby, you have to skate for ten minutes with out help before you can go home, how about that?"

"WHAT! That's not fair!"

"Get started Kura." Yami said pushing away from Bakura, but staying just close enough to catch him if he went down again.

"You are mean, you are evil. This is cruelty. This is unfair and unjust. I'm being held hostage and you find this amusing, you are the epitome of evil pharaoh! You heinous bastard! I want to go home! I'm freezing my ass off and my feet hurt in these damn skates...That's it NO sex for you tonight!" Bakura pointed all dramatically.

"Oh don't be so iffy Kura, it's not THAT bad."

"Yes, YES it is! I'm telling you I'm going to fall and hurt my self then you'll feel bad! Yes you will! But that won't even help me when I'm PARALYZED!"

"Kura calm down or you'll make yourself fall again."

"I'm going to fall reguardl-" Bakura hadn't even finished the word and he had his back on the ice. Of course this time it was Marik's fault.

"OOOWWWWWW!" Bakura cried out as he held his elbow. He growled and crawled, as well as he could with one hand, over to Marik. "You ra forsaken idiot! You SUCK more than I do! And that's saying something, by the gods, you stupid son of a bitch, you'd better SIT THE HELL PUT so I can smash this skate into your friggin face!"

"Oh my god Kura!" Ryou gasped after hearing Bakura's screaming.

"Bakura, relax." Yami said holding him away from Marik, who look dazed. "Kura, Kura please relax, put the skate back on your foot please."

"Damn him! That's it! I'm leaving NOW! Don't you dare try to CON me into coming back, because I'll be likely to smack you and throw you on the couch for a month!" Bakura screamed standing up after hastily putting the skate back on. "Stupid. Fucking. Marik. My fucking arm, fucking hurts..." He continued to rant and rave until he reached the wall. He stepped out on to the solid ground and kicked his skates off.

"Kura!" He heard Yami call. I could cear the sound of his voice growing. A clear indicator that he was following right behind him.

"WHAT?" He turned around quickly to find himself face to face with Yami.

"I know this is a bad time to point this out...but you did it..."

"Did what?"

"You skated...with out falling or hesitating."

Bakura blinked at looked at the space he'd just been in. Okay yes he DID skate all that way. But that didn't change the fact that we was still irritated.

"That's great...I'm thrilled! I'm going home now!"

"Oh Kura!" Yami followed after stopping to throw off the skates quickly.

"If you shut the hell up with the 'oh kura' shit I MIGHT come back next time...I'm not promising anything though!"

"I knew you were having fun..."

"Shut up pharaoh. Or you sleep on the couch tonight."

xxx

_Thanks for reading!  
_


	29. Watch Me

Moved from another location.

**Watch Me**

Marik watched through the window of the small coffee shop. It was a drowsy day and nothing truely exciting had held his attention, previous to his visit to the midtown cafe. There were lots of people there today. It was a great day for business. But of all the people within the building, one had kept his attention.

Marik loved watching him work. In that cute waiter's apron with his silver white hair swishing behind him as he turned, and that smile. Gods did he love that smile! He greeted people with such a warm smile, which no one ever thought he could have.

He walked from table to table delivering and picking up orders, working steadily with no sign of fatigue. Tall and absolutely beautiful. Marik could not help but find him self gazing in that window at the same time everyday.

Many times he wanted to walk in there, but decided against it. He didn't want him to know that he was watching him. One day he would walk in there though, but he wanted the joy of watching mother nature's greatest creation at work, for just a little longer.

Bakura waited patiently for the costumer. Sometimes his job was too much of a hastle. He sometimes went back to the thought that stealing was easier. But his job had its rewarding moments. You'd be surprised the amazing stories and conversations you can get into with people, who you don't even know.

It was a gloomy day, with clouds covering the sky, threatening to open up and pour down rain. Days like these were the busiest. Several people had to be called in to work and the employees were still having a difficult time. But he forced a smile.

Despite the less rewarding moments, he liked his job. He was lucky to get the job. His Hikari, Ryou, had known the manager and helped him get hired. He had made Ryou very happy that day, he wasn't sure why, but it probably had something to do with his leading a more honest life.

"Hey sweety, can you get my a refill on my coffee?" A man asked as he walked by. The man was a regular customer and was full aware that Bakura was a man. It didn't bother the white haired yami, though. He got all sorts of compliments from people, both Male and Female.

"I'll be back in a minute sir." He smiled, walking into the back room. He grabbed for the coffee pot. He looked at it and set it down. He pulled another pot and began to brew a second pot of coffee, knowing he would need it soon. He grabbed the first one and proceeded out.

He thought about the relief he would have when he went home. He'd worked hard and would enjoy snuggling up with his lover on the couch, watching tv, maybe a comedy or romance movie, which ever his lover felt up to. He just had to make it through the next few hours.

Marik smiled as he watched Bakura go back and forth. People had begun to think he was weird, standing outside watching a guy at work, but he didn't care. He and Bakura had met almost a year ago. And for almost a year Marik had failed to show Bakura how he truely felt. He wanted so bad to say those three little words. He just didn't know how to say them. He wasn't exactly one for acting out romance. That was more Bakura's thing.

People thought Bakura was a bad guy. And well, maybe he used to be, but what's past is past right? He still had that 'bad' streak, where he would do something crazy for the hell of it. But he was a little more mellowed out, which Marik found actually very sexy.

He looked in the mirror longingly and on a whim he walked into the cafe.

Bakura ran back and forth growling at the people who waited until he walked away to call for him. But he bit his tongue and continued to smile. He heard the door chime go off and sighed knowing that there would be one more customer to tend to. He didn't bother looking up, he was just too busy. He was greatful though, he would be getting his break soon.

He walked to the counter to give the lady the order and picked up several other orders to take. He swished around walking back in the general direction he had come from.

He tended more tables. He heard the chime for the door go off again. 'Damn it!' He thought. 'There are just too many people here.'

He passed a table with a piece of paper folded. He picked it up. And saw one simple sentence. 'Meet me outside on your break'. The handwritting didn't look familiar. He thought. He questioned whether he should go outside. Why not? He could protect himself if need be.

Marik stood outside the building with his back to the window watching the cars pass. He hoped Bakura had seen his note. He wrote as neatly as he could. He wasn't very good at Japanese, but he'd been practicing. He was anxious. He hadn't planned on saying anything at that point, but he already wrote the note.

The door opened and Marik's head turned. He was irritated yet somewhat relieved when it wasn't Bakura. His heart pounded harder as time went by. He stared out at the traffic, which was backed up.

"Marik?"

He turned his head so quickly he almost passed out. He hadn't even heard the door open. He froze up, not knowing what to say. Well, he knew, he just was unsure of how to say it.

"Did you leave this note?" Bakura asked holding up the peice of paper. Marik gulped and nodded.

Bakura was a little disturbed. Why was Marik, crazy egyptian who wanted world domination, being so meek? He walked closer to Marik.

"I just...I uh..." Marik stuttered.

"What is is?"

"I just...I LOVE YOU!" Marik screamed at the top of his lungs for the whole world to hear. Bakura's eyes widened and he stepped back.

"I'm sorry..." Marik said softly.

"Marik, you should know, that I have a lover. And he's loved me for a long time. And you know something?" Bakura walked up to Marik and put his hand on Marik's face lovingly.

"What?" Marik choked, feeling his heart sink.

"He has this funny little habit, everyday, he stands at this window and guess what he does? You'll never believe it! He watches me."

Marik's eyes widen in realization. Bakura knew! Should have figured as much, but still! He put his hand behind Bakura's head and pulled him into a hard kiss, Marik dominating over Bakura.

The two lip locked boys pulled apart. Marik looked down at Bakura. He saw that smile again. The one that melted his normally cold heart. Even an evil psycho was allowed to be happy.

"Marik, I've waited for you to say that for a long time."

"I know...I just, you know, I'm not good at the whole love thing..."

"I'll be back in a minute Marik." Bakura ran back in side and immerged several minuites later with his coat.

"Together for a year, Marik. That's the best anniversary present you could have given me.I knew you did, I just had to melt you enough to get you to say it. Now what do you say we go home and cuddle on the couch?"

Marik smiled. That had been easier than he thought. He was afraid that maybe Bakura would be frightened off. But Bakura really meant all of those I love you's. He felt that it wouldn't be so hard anymore. One year together...And many more to come.

"Marik! Let's go do something crazy!"

"You're too much of a good boy to do that now!" Marik smirked, knowing Bakura was definately no goody-goody. He just liked ruffling his feathers.

"You watch me Marik! You'll see just how bad I can be!"

"You're right, koibito, I do watch you and I love every minute of it." He smiled following Bakura.

**...:End:...**

Thanks for reading!


	30. It'll Never Be The Same

_This one is depressing, sorry for the mood change. It's another story being added to a collection._ Seto/Bakura on this one.

**It'll Never Be The Same**

Mokuba ran up the stairs toward his brother's office. Nearly tripping himself, he grasped the railing as he cleared the last few steps. He bent over, hands on his knees and took in several quick gasp in an effort to regain lost breath. He was on his way to inform his brother that Yugi and someothers were on their way over.

He knew Seto was distant from them ever since the incident with Bakura, but he was at least being civil, or as close to it as he could get. And he needed to tell Seto. It wouldn't be right to hide them from him, because that would only upset the older brunette.

He rapped on the large office door and listened as the sound echoed through the hall way. He was listening for sounds of motion, or even his brother's voice, beckoning him to enter, but he heard nothing. He found this to be quite unusual.

He placed a hand on the door knob and cautiously turned the handle, pushing the door in. He peeked his head in. His eyes had to adjust to the abnormally dark room. His eyes finally focused on Seto.

He was sitting at his desk, with his head resting on his arm. His room was dark, with the lamp turned off and the curtains pulled, closing off the natural light. The only light that shone in the room was the soft glow of Seto's laptop.

"Seto?" Mokuba whispered, slowly aproaching his, apparently, sleeping brother.

He was surprised when he got no groggy reply, since Seto was one to wake easily. He heard no moans of protest at being woken or even a soft sigh that was a common trait for the brunette. this worried the younger Kaiba.

Mokuba approached the front of the desk. He leaned over it, placing a palm on the desk, in order to nudge him awake. After all sleeping at his desk wasn't a particularly healthy thing for him to do.

He didn't get that far though. The feel of the warm, thick, liquid he'd pressed his hand into made up pull back. Mokuba nearly freaked as he stumbled back looking for the lamp, in a desperate attempt for light.

He sttod on the tips of his toes and pulled the string, igniting light into the dark room. He looked down at his hand and nearly screamed out in horror.

The thick, warm, liquid was a dark crimson color, presumable blood, since he knew Seto was not one for painting. He clenched his fist aas he began to shake as he imagined the worst thing possible.

"S-Seto?" His voice cracked filled to the brim with worry.

There was no answer. He was the same as he was moments before. Realization dawned on him as he noticed the lack of ANY motion from the CEO. There was no up and down motion from each inhale and exhale of breath.

As realization came, so did denial. He didn't want to believe the quite obvious. He walked around to the other side of Seto's desk. He brushed the hair away from his brother's face. He looked down and noticed the massive amount of blood pooling on his desk, and dripping off the side and into his lap.

The entire surface his desk was painted red.

"Oh...My God..." A small hand clamped over his mouth as he back away, eyes widening as tears brimmed them, threatening to flood along his cheeks. He romoved his hand lng enough to scream... "BIG BROTHER! NOOOOOO!"

XXX

Yugi, Yami, Joey and Ryou were almost at the Kaiba mansion when they saw the police cars and ambulence fly by, flashing their lights in a panicked hurry.

"Wow, I wonder what happened?" Joey spoke absentmindedly.

"Those cars were heading toward Seto's mansion." The soft spoken, white haired ryou noted.

"You're right, there's nothing in that direction for miled, except Kaiba's mansion! Do you think something happened?" Yugi looked at Yami, with slight concern present on his visage.

"Let's find out."Yami suggested and they all took off running.

They approached the building and gazed in. Seeing the cars, with their lights still flashing, they exchanged worried glances, then entered the premises through the front gate, which was left wide open.

Mokuba, spotting the group ran out. He never even attepted to stop as he flew into Ryou, wrapping his small arms around the older boy. Ryou was a bit taken back by the sudden assault. He recovered, from nearly falling over, and returned the boy's embrace.

"Mokuba, what's going on?" Ryou spoke soothingly.

"He's dead...He's dead...He's DEAD!" The younger Kaiba sobbed into Ryou's chest.

Yami's eyes widened, knowing the naswer, but hoping it wasn't true. "Mokuba? Who's dead?" Yami tried to speak softly, but could stop the child from crying. His loss was too great.

"MY BROTHER'S DEAD!" His sobbing turned to wailing.

"WHAT?" The four exclaimed in unison.

"Oh Mokuba..." Yugi sympathized with him and drew him into his arms. Ryou pulled away from him and looked at Yami. The two exchanged looks with Joey and Yugi. The two nodded, and together Yami and Ryou ran in search of someone who could provide solid answers.

After being shoed off by several officers, they finally spotted Roland, one of Seto's employees.

"Roland!" Yami called, and the man in the black three piece suit turned to them. "Roland! What happened!"

"Mr. Mokuba found Mr. Seto bleeding on his desk. He was already dead before we could call for help." He explained, sadness obvious as he delivered the grim news.

"H-how..How'd this happen?" Ryou's voice broke as the memories of his yami's death flooded his mind.

"The first assumption was murder, but that was ruled out. We found the knife he used on the floor next to his chair, with his bloodly prints on it. Mr. Kaiba commited suicide, by slitting his own throat."

"Noooo!" Ryou cried as he fell to is knees. Yami kneeled down to steady the frantic boy.

"We found this note on his laptop." Roland handed Yami a printed piece of paper. On it read:

:I couldn't help him heal from his pain, so he ended it himself. The world can't stop my suffering, so I'll do the same. I'm sorry little brother. I do love you. And I'm sorry Ryou, I couldn't keep my promise. I just can't live with out him:

The memories flooded back back as Ryou's eyes skimmed those words. Seto blamed himself for Bakura's death. The fact that he couldn't help Bakura ate away at him until he felt there was nothing left for him to live for. And he hated himself that Bakura left that way.

..:Bakura? What are you doing:..

..:What am I doing, hikari? I'm relieving my soul of this torment:.. Bakura loaded the bullet into the shiny black pistol. ..:We all have a choice hikari, to live and suffer, or take our destinies into our own hands and end the agony, you can clearly see my choice:.. He lifted the gun to his head.

..:BAKURA DON'T! There are people who need you:.. Ryou screamed, truely frightened at Bakura's behavior.

..:I'm sorry Ryou, I never meant to hurt you. Live your life to its fullest. And please, tell Seto I love him:.. Without waiting, Bakura's finger pulled back on the trigger.

"No..." Ryou sniffled as the images ran through his mind. "Seto...You promised..You promised you'd never take your life like he did..." His eyes squeezed shut as tears flowed freely down both cheeks.

"Ryou...It's ging to be okay." Yami tried, he really tried to help Ryou, but he knew it was pointless. No one knew the pain of a loved one's suicide better than Ryou, who saw Bakura's first hand.

"No Yami, it won't be okay. Bakura's gone. There will never be anyone like him. Though he was an ass, he was our ass!" The boy choked back more sobbing. "Now Seto's gone. His grief from losing Bakura pushed him over the edge. We'll never hear that haughty tone of his talk down to you even as he loses, when he picks fights with Joey, or fawns over Bakura. Because they're gone...Nothing will be like it was...It'll never be the same..."

* * *

Thanks for reading.


	31. To Teach A Pharaoh New Tricks

Another relocated one shot.

**To Teach A Pharaoh New Tricks**

I turned around just as the lid blew off and crashed into the counter, shattering it into pieces. Yami stood there with his hand on his chest with his eyes wide. I clenched my fist. I wasn't one to say that I cooked exceptionally well, actually quite frankly, I sucked at it (at least when compared to Ryou), but Yami would be lucky to boil water with out turning the entire kitchen into one of those mushroom clouds you see on a world war two documentary on the history channel.

Suppressing my urge to punch him in the face I pulled the broom out of the pantry. This was entirely Yugi and Ryou's fault. They are friends. They were talking about us, their yamis, and some how got into a conversation about who cooks worse. Yugi had said no one was worse than Yami, I didn't really believe him at that time, but my opinion quickly changed. The worst of it, was Ryou put us in the kitchen and told me that I had to teach the pharaoh to cook. Like I could really do that.

I couldn't refuse Ryou either...He'd give me that look. You know the big puppy eyes and all. So I let myself be locked in the kitchen with someone who would wind up killing me with a cheese grater. And I don't mean kill me on purpose, oh no, this would be the accidental kind. This would be a horrific accident of his kitchen stupidity.

I kept my distance. I'm not paranoid, just really careful. I continued to cut vegetables while Yami swept up his mess with the broom I handed him.

Not only was he an idiot in the kitchen, but he was an idiot in the kitchen who happened to not like me very much at all. Not that it mattered to me, I was personally indifferent.

"Are you done sweeping," I asked.

"Yes." He answered simply.

"Okay, do you think you can..." I thought for a minute and said the first thing that came to my mind, "Grate cheese?" I immediately regretted the words. Oh what had I done. I'd just moments before invisioned my self dying by that same utensil. I couldn't take it back though, so I moved over a little ways away from him as he grabbed a block of cheese out of the refrigerator and brought it next to me.

"Remember grate down, not up, you go up nothing will come out. And please, for Ra's sake keep your fingers a distance from the surface, fingers do not take well to cheese graters." I said. I think he took that offensively. I didn't mean to hurt any feelings, I was just stating the truth, not that I cared if his feelings were hurt.

"If you're trying to anger me-"

"I'm not okay! So Just shut up grate the damn cheese!" I scream not wanted to deal with his crap.

He hesitates and continues what he was doing. I continued chopping in silence, seriously considering using the knife on him. Damn Pharaoh...Damn him...

Well I didn't exactly HATE him, but I'm not going to tell him otherwise. Tch, the bastard would probably laugh at me.

"What do you want me to do now?" He asked in a bitchy tone, because we all know that he does not want to take orders from me.

"Get a pot from under the cabinet." I instructed. He did with out breaking, destroying, blowing up or anything else he could possibly do with it.

"Fill it half way with water and put it on the stove." I said almost regretting this. After he did as a told then I told him to turn on the stove, and just walk away while it heated up.

He stood there as if waiting for my next, instructions. I couldn't think of anything, that wouldn't require my helping him.

"Sit down while I finish this." He snorted but did as I said. Now that's what I'm talking about! Too bad he can't always be this obedient. Of course the only reason he was doing it was because his Hikari talked him into it.

I finished chopping the vegetables, fully aware that he was watching me intently. It was making me kinda nervous. I slid the chopped food off the cutting board and into a bowl. I turned and pulled a pan out from under the stove.

"I could use some help now." I said simply. He stood and walked over behind me. I stepped aside and pulled him closer to the counter.

"Okay, it's simple. All you have to do is stick these on the pan and add the stuff on top. This takes awhile so you work from that end I'll work on this end. The sauce is hot, very hot, so be careful!" I said setting up the surroundings.

Okay, I sound like I know what I'm doing, but in reality I'm pulling this from a two hour 'class' I took from Ryou. He actually wants me to learn about how shit in the modern world works. Unlike Yugi, who's afraid his Yami will blow up their house/gameshop.

Yami was working pretty intently. Doing just as I said. Putting thing where they should go and not burning, gouging and/or inadertently killing me. I was happy of that much and almost proud, seeing as I was already sporting a massive bruise on my shoulder from having the microwave door blow off and slam into me. Which leads me to the conclusion, that under no circumstances, ever, is Yami going near a microwave, especially with foil in his hands, again. Period. End of discussion. God Damn I sound like a mother...

He finished his half and I completed mine. We were ready to put it in the oven.

"Can you set the timer?" I asked, not wanting him anywhere near the oven. I'd made the decision to preheat the oven before we started so I wouldn't have to ask him to. He was dangerous around fire, or things that are equally as hot as. He made me look like an angel in the kitchen.

He nodded and set it to the time I asked. I opened the oven door, of course I had mitts mind you, and I placed the pan on the top shelf and closed it.

"There that's in. That should cook pretty fast." I said being as optimistic as I possibly could.

"As long as you don't put me near it, it should turn out fine." I laughed out loud as I heard the Pharaoh making jokes about his own lack of cooking skills. It was true though. Oddly enough, he didn't get mad at me for laughing, he laughed with me.

We both stopped an looked at each other. We stopped laughing and went back to the silence that previously filled the room. Neither of us were going to give into the idea of just getting over our differences and being...friends...

I heard something rattle. I had to think for a moment before I realized what it was. I ran over to the stove and turned the nob to off, as the water bubbled over the side and down the stove. I reached for a towel and found none in sight.

Yami stepped next to me carrying a towel he picked up from the counter. Both of us were frantic as we tried to keep everything from getting covered in boiling water, including ourselves.

Well...We didn't get so lucky...Or I should say, I didn't get so lucky. Sliding from the water on the floor, I grasped on to the counter to gain my balance, so as not to fall. And make a complete ass out of myself. I knocked into the handle and the pot began to fall off the stove.

I made the stupid choice to try to grab the handle. I got the handle. I did. Unfortunately the whole pot of water dumped on my arm. I threw the pot to the floor and grabbed my arm. It fucking hurt! Of course, the only sounds I made were low hissing noises.

Yami grabbed me by the upper part of my arm. I was about to deck the bastard when I realized what he was doing. He pulled me to the sink and turned the water on cold. Forcing my arm under it, I let out a shriek. I let the water run over it for a moment before I pulled away and sunk to the floor, still cradling my arm.

He kneeled down and put a hand on my shoulder. I looked up at him grinding my teeth together, trying my best not to make any sounds indicating I was in pain. I didn't want him to think I was weak.

"Are you okay?" He asked his voice softer than it usually was.

"What do you fucking think!" I screamed, tears comming to my eyes, not really intending to.

He looked at me, as if studying my features. I waited for him to say or do something. I was about to say something, when he moved.

He closed the space between us and I felt his lips against mine. My first rational thought was pull away. But my body wouldn't. I don't think I really wanted to, either. He pulled me closer.

He slid his tongue against my lips, and I allowed him entrance. His tongue met with mine in a battle for dominance. I felt his tongue brush against my teeth, exploring. I explored his mouth as he took dominance. I was okay with him dominating over me. Normally I would have felt wierd about it but I was okay with it this time, for some odd reason.

We pulled back, only because we needed to breathe. We heard two chuckles and looked back to see our Hikaris in the kitchen door way.

"You did this on purpose didn't you!" Yami asked accusingly at Yugi. I was somewhat confused.

"Don't be mad, Yami! You would have never gotten anywhere with him if we didn't force you together!" He said hiding behind Ryou, who put on his best innocent face.

Whoa hold on! What the hell's going on?

"Okay, what?" I asked.

"My Yami has a crush on you." Yugi peeked his head out and squeeked before hiding behind Ryou again, as Yami shot him a glare. "What!" I looked at him, who was blushing profusely. "And you mean to tell me, you've bitched at me all this time for being a bastard, when you've had a thing for me! Why the hell didn't you just fucking say something!" I had not intended to swear, it just kinda...happened.

"Like you're one to talk, yami." Ryou said, hiding behind Yugi this time.

"Err..." I blushed as Yami looked at me. "What! Quit looking at me like that!" I said looking away.

The buzzer went off for the oven. Like a saving grace.

"I'm not getting that, my arm hurts and there's no fucking way in hell Yami is going any where near that oven, so you'd better get it Ryou." I said in my normal tone.

I yelped as Yami picked me up, bridal style. Who would have thought that he could be so strong, because I know I weight more than he does, not much, but still.

He took me to the living room and placed me on the couch. He went back into the kitchen and emerged later with a wet cloth. He placed it on my arm. I looked up at him.

"Yes?" He asked, seeing the question in my eyes.

"Do..." I didn't want to ask. It felt weird. But more, I didn't know if I wanted the answer.

"Do I love you?" He asked for me, apparently able to read my thoughts. "Yes." He answered simply. My heart thumped. Not a usual feeling for me.

"I..." I started. "I...I love you, too." I finally said. It felt so weird and good at the same time.

"I'm relieved." He said pulling me into his lap. Both of us were silent for a few moments.

"Well kiss me damn it!" I finally said and he willingly complied.

I never knew that a simple hour in the kitchen and many screw ups would mean so much. It did. It started six years of a relationship that flourished well. Now here we are.

Though we won't have legal documents to prove it. We've married our souls together. With a big celebration and the hole nine yards! Now when the celebration's done were off, to 'seal the marriage'. Hehe...You know.

It would also be nice if Kaiba would get his drunk ass off the table, although he dances pretty well when intoxicated...

Hehehe...It's sometimes beneficial to teach a pharaoh new tricks, even though he doesn't remember any of the other crap I tried to teach him, he remembered to make that dinner, making sure to keep foil away from microwaves, and to always turn the pot handle in. Because now he doesn't have to injure me in order to kiss me.

He does it every morning, when I wake up next to him.

* * *

Thanks for reading!


	32. Tauk's Magic

_Relocated Story.**  
**_

**Tauk's Magic**

Yami woke with a start. For the third night in a row, he'd woken to a startling dream. All of which had to do with Bakura. In each of these dreams he'd seen Bakura hurting himself, then taking his own life. At first he thought it was just a simple dream, and a strange one at that. He could have easily imagined Bakura cutting himself, but not kill himself, even so the first night he shrugged it off.

Then it happened again. This dream was more descriptive and he clearly remembered the cuts all over his arms, which he had indeed seen on Bakura the previous day. He became a little more worried, but still he said nothing.

But the third time was enough. It was the most explicit of the three dreams. He couldn't get that Image out of his mind...Bakura, in his dream, had walked out into rushing traffic, not bothering to look...Yami would never in his life get that horrible picture out of his mind. It was twelve thirty, when he threw back the covers and rushed to get dressed.

He looked around the room to see if he'd forgotten anything. His eyes fell on the millenium Tauk. It had a fading glow. This pulled Yami's attention and he reached for it. He felt like he was being sucked into another world, as thousands of images passed him by, all of which he's seen...In his dreams...

He grabbed it and ran out of his room, closing the door silently, so as not to wake Grandpa. Luckily, Yugi was at Ryou's, so worst case scenario he'd have an excuse to be there. He slipped out of the shop and made a mad dash toward the apartment Ryou and Bakura shared.

He stopped to catch his breath before rapping lightly on the door. He knew Bakura would be the one to answer. After all, Bakura would quickly sense him near. He was right, because not long after the from door flew open.

"What do you want Pharaoh?" Bakura snarled.

"I...uh..." Yami's eyes drifted to Bakura's forearm. His arm was leaned against the door frame, causing the sleeve to slide down, revealing many deep gashes and scars.

"What?" Bakura noticed him staring and he put his arm down. "If you're going to gawk at me like that, at least do it inside." He said turning back to walk furthur into the apartment. "Ryou and Yugi are watching a movie in Ryou's room."

"I'm not here to see them, Bakura."

The white haired thief looked at Yami, his gaw falling open slightly. He quickly regained his stoic expression and replied with a snort.

"Oh I see, you finally get sick of me, and decide to send me to the shadow realm for good?"

"No, Bakura. I never had a desire to send you there in the first place. I wanted to talk to you about something." Yami answered with a slight frown.

"Oh this oughta be good. Go on then pharaoh." Bakura folded his arms, while walking into the kitchen, with Yami following closely behind him.

"You need to stop hurting yourself."

"What..." Bakura turned around, making Yami stop abruptly. "What do you know about that? It's none of your business!"

"Bakura, it's quite obvious you're hurting yourself! Your arms are proof!"

"SHUT UP! I just cut myself in the kitchen, now stay OUT of MY business." Bakura screamed.

"Cut yourself in the kitchen? I'm not stupid, Bakura! If you just cut yourself in the kitchen, then why the hell is the word 'Death' carved on your shoulder!"

Bakura stepped back, shock written clearly on his pale face. He stepped back away from Yami, his shaky hand subconsciously rubbing his left shoulder. He was unsure of what to say, of all people we wouldn't have expected the pharaoh to approach him with that subject.

"How do you know about that?"

"I saw it in my dreams Bakura, the millenium Tauk showed me what happens to you if you don't stop!"

"What do you care anyways?" Bakura asked looking away.

Yami's mind drifted back to his dream. Bakura had asked that same thing there...Yami had told him he didn't care...and Bakura killed himself. He was not about to let that dream become a reality, becuse the truth was...he DID care. He cared very much for the thief. Bakura's incessant challenges always making Yami have to become stronger and keeping him on his toes, while Bakura kept coming back, aiming to win...In a perspective, they were two of a kind...Both locked in their respective items, trying desperately to adjust to the modern world.

"I DO care about you!" Yami finally screamed, Bakura turned away not wanting to look at him. "You may hate me Bakura, but I don't hate you! I enjoy it when you challenge me! It's different then playing against just anyone else! I like those stupid arguments we get into! And throwing insults back and forth! I like that wicked smile you have when you're in the lead, or have out witted me at something. And that cute pout you have when you don't get your way! The superior way you hold yourself, and the way you talk down to people..." Yami stopped to take in a breath of air before continuing. "I don't want you to kill yourself Bakura! I know you've thought about that a lot! But don't! I need you!"

Silence filled the room and Yami's gazed remained fixed on Bakura. He was ready in case Bakura decided to hit him or something of the like. When Bakura turned to face him, he saw something he hadn't expected to see...Tears...

He looked at Yami, and hesitantly moved forward. Bakura's arms wrapped around him as more tears fell. Yami wrapped his arms around him, embracing him tightly.

"You're wrong Yami...I need you..." Bakura said quietly.

"No, Bakura, we need eachother..."

Ryou and Yugi, who'd heard the sudden commotion, stood, peeking in the door way at their yamis. Both smiling, happy to see that they'd finally realized what everyone knew...They belonged together...

"You saved me Yami..." Bakura whispered, his tough exterior breaking. "Please don't let me go..."

"I won't, I promise..." The two stood there, just enjoying each other's company. The way it was supposed to be.

In Yami's pocket, the millenium Tauk finally faded back to the dull gold, it's mission complete.

* * *

Thanks for reading!


	33. Questionable

_BakuraxYugi. Relocated oneshot.  
_

**Questionable**

His heart pounded as he rapped his knuckles against the front door of the Bakura house. He's finally made up his mind to speak up. Even if he was morbidly rejected and threatened with various painful sounding torture ideas. He knew that perhaps it wasn't the best of times, knowing that Marik, Malik, and Yami, who for what ever insane reason was dating Marik, were all there. But he couldn't hold it back.

The door opened and he was greeted by Ryou. Those warm doe eyes were a comforting sight as Ryou invited him in with out question. He'd originally bailed out of coming in the fist place because he had homework to do. Of course that wasn't the whole truth either. He was too afraid to do, or say, something stupid, something that would dissuade Bakura from even considering talking to him.

But he'd already made his presence known and he couldn't back out this time. He wasn't surprised to see Malik bounce up and wrap an arm around Ryou's neck. Those two had always been close. So no one was surprised to find them in a relationship.

"Hey Yugi! Glad you decided to show up!" Malik said all hyped up on something that had either sugar or caffeine in it.

"Don't you have some dishes to wash hikari?" Marik called upon hearing the rabid hyper-ness of his ecstatic light.

"Shut up yami!" Malik's half shriek rewarded the others a few chuckles and giggles.

Ryou lead Yugi into the room. And as they entered the blanket strewn living room, Bakura sauntered out of the kitchen.

"Hey, you guys going to come get this damn food?" The white haired thief asked flicking his hair back.

"Cart it out here slave." Marik snickered as he replied.

"Come here so I can use your obnoxious hair to rest the tray on." Bakura retorted annoyed by the 'slave' comment.

"Hey hikari!" Yami smiled.

"Hi yami." Yugi replied quietly.

Malik giggled and launched himself at Bakura, making the white haired Egyptian step back startled.

"What the hell Malik? Get out from under my shirt! You're going to rip it you psycho!"

Ryou sighed and left Yugi's side to retrieve Malik from Bakura's T-shirt. He gently coaxed Malik out and held on to his wrist so he couldn't escape.

"Your hikari's nuts, Marik." Yami commented with a chuckle as he leant into the kisses Marik was plastering his neck with. Marik moved a hand to twirl a strand of Yami's hair as he smirked at the pharaoh in his lap.

"Oh yeah, that's my hikari."

"Oh will you two get a room." Bakura grumbled upon seeing the sight of the two lovers. "And preferably NOT mine!"

"You're just jealous Kura."

"I wouldn't go on believing that if I were you Marik." Bakura rolled his eyes as he walked over to Ryou. "Good lord hikari, are you getting into S&M now? I mean is there any particular reason you're sitting on Malik with one arm holding his arm, the other holding his leg and a sock in his mouth?"

"It's how we keep him from traumatizing people with his over hyper-ness Bakura." Marik answered for him. "It's better than what I used to do. I used to lock him in the freezer until he screamed loud enough for me to actually understand what he was saying."

"That's so like you." Yami snorted.

"Bakura?" Yugi spoke so quietly it almost came out as a whisper. Bakura turned to look at Yugi who was half hiding behind the vertical doorframe, with a face so red it could be easily comparable to the inside of Marik's microwave when he gets a new pet.

"Yeah?" He asked wondering why Yugi seemed so embarrassed. By now the others had noticed Yugi's predicament.

"Can I talk to you please?" He said shrinking away a little bit more. Now trying to avoid the curious looks he was getting from his yami, who wasn't so fond of the thief.

"Okay, um...sure." He said walking over to Yugi, ignoring the slight growling he heard from Yami. This was unusual.

He left the room with Yugi and walked into the little hall way. He stopped and turned to face the smaller one.

"What is it you wanted to talk to me about? It must be something you don't want Yami to hear. Are you out to kill someone? You need my help? I'll help ya. I'm good at that kinda stuff."

"No NO NO!" Yugi shook his head, furiously blushing. "That's not it. I...Well..." He paused uncertain of what to say next. He'd run over it in his mind a million times, but as he stood before Bakura, ready to speak, he couldn't find those well rehearsed words.

"Just say it Yugi." Bakura crossed his arms, trying to not to get annoyed.

"I...I..." He gulped and just let it go. "I LOVE YOU! There I said it..." He looked down too scared to see the reaction from the thief. He was prepared for rejection, though he knew it would hurt just the same, but he knew the possibility was strong.

"Now see I know you'd never lie, you're not that kind of person, but to say you love me? That's questionable Yugi."

Yugi looked up and found, not anger, nor disgust, but pure unfiltered confusion in those deep auburn eyes.

"You're the kind of person with the heart of gold. You know that I'm certainly not one of those. I have little to no deeming qualities to a person with such a high level of morality. So I have to wonder why you would feel that way."

"I do...I don't know...But...I feel comfortable around you...I find myself thinking about you ALL the time. And I fantasize..."

"Oh?" Bakura raised an eye brow with a slight smirk.

Yugi blushed even darker and stared back down at the floor like a bomb was going to go off if he broke eye contact with it.

"What kind of fantasizing?" Bakura pressed as he leaned closer to Yugi until the boy was backed against the wall and he had both hands against the wall on either side of Yugi's head.

"You know..." He said choking on the words..."I think about...that...how...To feel your lips on mine...For you to hold me...And...For you to..." He gulped. "Love me."

Bakura blinked as the words him him like a 2 by 4. Someone wanted him. Some one actually wanted his love, and loved him even knowing what kind of person he was. His mind was telling him that it didn't make sense. He kept repeating. 'This whole thing is questionable.' But his heart stomped out the question until it was merely a dull echo of what the thought had once been.

"...Are you serious?" Were the words he finally was able to come out with.

"I'm as serious about loving you as you are serious about wanting to rip Yami's eyes out with a fork."

Bakura closed his eyes as he let out a chuckle and fought the need to erupt into laughter. It seemed Yugi had a sense of humor of his own.

"I...I don't know what to say...I've never been faced with this before. Especially not from one who deserves much more than I could ever give."

"Now Bakura, just because I put up with Yami doesn't make me special."

"Heh." Bakura smiled again. He reached a pale hand out and ran the back of it along the side of the smaller one's face. "You know, how badly I would corrupt you?"

"For my sake, please corrupt me!"

"You know what you're asking of me right?" Bakura leaned in closer his face angled only inches from Yugi's.

"Yes...I do..." His answer was quiet but easily heard as Bakura closed the space.

Lips interlocked in an embrace that sparked for both. Bakura'd never liked butterflies, but the ones fluttering in his stomach were welcomed with open arms. Both closed their eyes to enjoy the taste of the other, as they delved deeper into their kiss.

"WHAT THE EFFING GODS OF RA?"

The two broke a part very quickly. And both turned to see of of the people from the previous room gawking at the from the end of the hall way.

"Um...YOu wouldn't believe me if I said I was giving him the Hiemlich manuver would you?"

"Of course we wouldn't you idiot...because mouth to mouth is CPR not Hiemlich manuver." Marik snickered at the thief.

"I hate you Marik."

"What the hell were you doing to my hikari!" Yami howled.

"Nothing, um..."

"He was kissing me, what else? I'm sure you know what that looks like," Yugi answered.

"Damn Yugi grew balls." Marik commented before recieving Yami's elbow in his gut.

"Yugi..."

"Don't start with me Yami..."

"Yeah baka pharaoh, you got your own boyfriend, so leave mine alone."

Yugi gasped and turned quickly to look at Bakura. Bakura winked at him and Yugi smiled.

Yami gaped at them unable to find words to say.

"So that aside," Bakura said grabbing Yugi's hand, "Let's go somewhere else, I'll steal you something real nice. Or kill someone for ya..." Bakura snickered. "Later pharaoh!" He taunted sticking his tongue. And the two left out the front door leaving three very confused people and a frothing Malik behind.

"So...were you serious of just saying that to get under Yami's skin?" Yugi asked as they left began onto the sidewalk.

"Oh I meant it. By the way, is there anyone you want dead?"

"You're crazy you know that, but then again that's half of what I like."

"I'm not crazy! I'm perfectly sane!"

"That's questionable."

"Hey that's my word! You can't take my word! Guh that's like cheating!"

"You gonna punish me for it?"

"Yes I shall! Let me find a dark corner then I will!" Bakura huffed.

"You know...I think this'll work...I mean if Yami and Marik can work...I think anything could work..."

"Oh there's no questioning that. By the way get back over here so I can finish kissing you!" The yami pulled Yugi close to him.

"Ah very well koi!" Yugi smiled. Oh yes, He was definately glad he came. Though...He'd still have to worry about Yami sending Bakura to the shadow realm..But then again...all he would have to do is give Bakura a fork and free reign to Yami's eyes and every thing would be just fine...

Just fine indeed.

xxx

_Thanks for reading!  
_


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